I'm starting to feel that I'm losing my zest for writing in this blog.
I'm considering of deleting this and just keeping my lj for fics and all that.
But I don't knowww, I love this blog and I've written close to three years worth of stuff here.
I'd hate to lose all that.
Hmm.
Rayer is coming so soon.
I'm not all that excited over it.
I'd like to think that it's just because of my A's around the corner and not because of that fact that I'm just getting more and more disillusioned as I get older.
I know for a fact that I'm keeping my distance, even from people who are around me most of the time.
I don't know what changed and I don't know if this is a conscious action on my part.
It probably is though and that realisation does not in anyway make me feel better about it.
I'm not proud of it, of distancing myself because its easier than feeling something.
This is me taking the whole running away thing to a whole other level.
I wonder how many people realise this.
The fact that I consciously choose to do so, on purpose.
It's not because I don't care anymore.
I just don't want to, I can't afford to, not when A's are so near.
I don't want to get distracted by drama, by other people's lives, by political tensions in friendships, by whatever else there is to distract me.
It's selfish, yes, but I value my grades too much.
It seems to be working in a way.
I've improved a lot of maths and malay and even gp.
And because of that, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm starting to see that A's is not that impossible after all and there is still a chance I'll get my As.
I wonder why only now that I have total unwavering faith. -_-
I'm going out with cinta tomorrow. :)
I miss you la. A bit.
Stupid A's. heh.
And DBSK's new MV is so much love.
omg. Jaejoong is freaking tied to a freaking wall. with ropes.
And I cannot get over his hot arms. gahh
And Yunho looks good with his new hair and he's been tanning and he looks so hot.
And max is looking good too.
even Junsu is baring some skin.
But I have no idea why Yoochun is all covered up. whyyyy.
sheesh.
I love their new song. heh. bias showing.
And my sister has also effectively turned me into a SHINee fan.
I got over the whole being older than them thing.
They're so cute and goofy and -_-.
and Key is crazy. literally crazy.
And Taemin is so cutely innocent he grew on me.
And Minho. Minho is so sighhh...That noona he went out with is so lucky. first date and he secretly buys a cake for her and gave her his book after telling her he's going to the toilet.
I want a guy to do that for me. :)
It's so not fair that they have like what, 10 years to go and SJ doesn't have that much time anymore. Ergh.
The ability to forget is to consciously know when and how to let go of the unpleasant past.
I'm considering of deleting this and just keeping my lj for fics and all that.
But I don't knowww, I love this blog and I've written close to three years worth of stuff here.
I'd hate to lose all that.
Hmm.
Rayer is coming so soon.
I'm not all that excited over it.
I'd like to think that it's just because of my A's around the corner and not because of that fact that I'm just getting more and more disillusioned as I get older.
I know for a fact that I'm keeping my distance, even from people who are around me most of the time.
I don't know what changed and I don't know if this is a conscious action on my part.
It probably is though and that realisation does not in anyway make me feel better about it.
I'm not proud of it, of distancing myself because its easier than feeling something.
This is me taking the whole running away thing to a whole other level.
I wonder how many people realise this.
The fact that I consciously choose to do so, on purpose.
It's not because I don't care anymore.
I just don't want to, I can't afford to, not when A's are so near.
I don't want to get distracted by drama, by other people's lives, by political tensions in friendships, by whatever else there is to distract me.
It's selfish, yes, but I value my grades too much.
It seems to be working in a way.
I've improved a lot of maths and malay and even gp.
And because of that, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm starting to see that A's is not that impossible after all and there is still a chance I'll get my As.
I wonder why only now that I have total unwavering faith. -_-
I'm going out with cinta tomorrow. :)
I miss you la. A bit.
Stupid A's. heh.
And DBSK's new MV is so much love.
omg. Jaejoong is freaking tied to a freaking wall. with ropes.
And I cannot get over his hot arms. gahh
And Yunho looks good with his new hair and he's been tanning and he looks so hot.
And max is looking good too.
even Junsu is baring some skin.
But I have no idea why Yoochun is all covered up. whyyyy.
sheesh.
I love their new song. heh. bias showing.
And my sister has also effectively turned me into a SHINee fan.
I got over the whole being older than them thing.
They're so cute and goofy and -_-.
and Key is crazy. literally crazy.
And Taemin is so cutely innocent he grew on me.
And Minho. Minho is so sighhh...That noona he went out with is so lucky. first date and he secretly buys a cake for her and gave her his book after telling her he's going to the toilet.
I want a guy to do that for me. :)
It's so not fair that they have like what, 10 years to go and SJ doesn't have that much time anymore. Ergh.
The ability to forget is to consciously know when and how to let go of the unpleasant past.