Last words

As of 20/11/08, this blog will not be updated any longer.
It's simply because I'm getting increasingly irked out about updating here.
Mostly because I don't want RL people to read all my innermost thoughts and my fangirl spazzes.
It's irksome because in RL, I'm different from when I blog and it irks me when people pretend to understand and think that they know me when in reality it's not always the case.
So I'm abandoning this blog.
It's been a really great 3 years but in a sense, that is long enough and it's time to make a change.
To all those who've read and tagged etc, thanks.

P.S. I'm not disclosing where I've moved to for the above mentioned reason. You could ask me but they may be a chance I may not tell you anyway.

MKMF 2008

And so its been 2 days since MKMF and everybody's still talking about it.
In particular TOP's kiss with Hyori.
Whoa. Lucky her but then again, all the antis may start hating her now cos she got to kiss TOP.
I mean, who wouldn't? tsk.
Big Bang's special stage with Hyori was good. I liked how they sang bits from all their hits and taeyang! :)
But I still think DBSK's performance was the best that night.
They totally owned the stage even though they were freaking exhausted.
Jae had gigantic eyebags and all that. tsk. the boys need rest urgently.
I still didn't get what he was wearing though, the fur and all that but hey, he showed off his abs again. His coat button came mysteriously undone halfway through Wrong number. heh.
Speaking of outfits I don't get,
Minho and Taemin were clad in literally shiny gold coats and Minho looked like a freaking Mafia boss or something.
And Yunho looked like a Mafia boss too. he had something that looked like a dead raccoon over his shoulder and Jae as usual was wearing nothing under his coat. -_-
BB had lots of fur action going on too.
I really don't get the fur thing. >_<
And surprise surprise, SJ wasn't there. As always. I'm so disappointed I'm not even going to talk about it.
Anyway, Shinee won best newcomer award!!
They deserve it. Their live performances have all been amazingly on the mark.
Key of course started crying on stage. Jonghyun too. Even Minho showed emotion which is so rare for him.
Only magnae was calm as always and smiling away at the camera.
And onew! he tried so hard to not burst out crying when he was giving his speech.
and the shot of Yoochun and Junsu clapping along like proud parents during Onew's speech made me laugh. lol.
Big Bang won Best Artist and Best Male Group!! Yay. :)
they totally deserve it too after working so bloody hard this year and all the quality albums they've produced.
DBSK won Best Album! I'm thrilled for them since they've only been back in Korea for 2 months or so and given the many other good albums this year, they did good. :)
Oh and magnae cried really hard when they received the award.
A bit shocking that he out of all the 5,was the one bawling his eyes out.
Chunface gave him a hug and tried to comfort him but he only succeeded in making Changmin cry more. Not to mention that he was trying not to burst into tears as well cos he has to play the hyung role. -_-
Changmin's so going to be on next year's best tearful acceptance speeches or something. :)


Yup so that's MKMF 2008.
Hopefully MKMF 2009 features more MIA artists esp SJ and Battle and hopefully more DBSK and BB too. :)

Remember

I'm eating pisang kukus with a bit of nutella and sweetened milk.
guhh. so sinful but so very nice.
I remember eating that all the time in Indon.
Sometimes with just chocolate rice on top and sometimes it's sweetened milk with grated cheese.
Sounds like a weird combi but it's delish. :)




My sister actually listened to me talk yesterday about, well about whatever is happening.
I even told her about that relapse in August.
She doesn't judge me for it and she just listens even when I keep repeating the same thing over and over.
I'm just really glad that she's much more mature than most girls her age.
It makes it so much more easier to talk to her properly.
And I stayed up all the way with her until 4 plus.
Cos we both have horrible insomnia and we can't sleep.
I dragged my fan into her room and we slept on the new futons my grandma brought back from indon and we played songs and sang along.
Mostly a lot of FTI songs. A bit of SHINee and lee ji hoon's doll and Kyuhyun's version of Dahl Paeng Ee.
She's really converted me into a Shinee fan(I got over the pedophile thingy) and now stuffing with me loads of FTI (I think jonghun is really good looking. sue will kill me for saying that. haha.) and other random stuff like Younha and Minwoo's Don't Trust Men.
-_-


And Big Bang's 2nd Album rocks. As always.
They're really the shits.
And not to mention hardcore as well.
They've released so many things this year alone and every song is really good stuff.
Clearly, BB never disappoints. :)


I just realised that the later of the year was filled with many good stuff from all the boys.
there's BB naturally.
And DBSK of course. (Mirotic! Jaejoong arms!)
And Shinee's Shinee World and Amigo.
And FTI.
whoa.
The only one missing is SJ's 3rd album and Battle's long awaited album. -_-
Soon. soon.

haru haru mudyeojyeogane

...to stay numb.


It'll hurt a lot less


to want everything and yet nothing at the same time

Eoddeokhae?

A's are finally drawing to a close.
I only have 3 more papers to go and then I'm done, 2 years of mugging and hell already over.
I just can't wait for it all to be over.
I just want to get it over and done with and get it out of the way.
I'm not going to comment on the papers I've sat for so far.
Like someone told me, there's no point anyway cos it's already over.


Strangely, I found strength in the most unlikely of places.
In people that resurfaced back in my life from somwhere from the past.
In a way it's good cos I get to keep fairly sane enough to get through this last 3 papers, but then again, none has even come close




Editing 634 pages is really really taxing.
And reading everything all over again is taxing too.
It's the memories that resurface really.
or maybe I'm just being too nostalgic.




I can't do this anymore.
I can't deny feelings that I try to deny.
I can't keep telling myself reasons I don't believe.
Cos that's the truth.
I don't believe in this anymore.
Maybe its Time or maybe it's just me.


Eoddeokhae?


Half of me is screaming to let this go cos it hurts more not to.


And because now I don't know what to say to you.


It's just time.


Or so I keep telling myself.

what's the difference now?

And so I'm 18 now.
It really feels no different than being 17.
Today feels no different than any other day too.
Except for the birthday wishes of course(thanks dilah,ying,sue,bani asy,diy and my lj fandomers)
I think except the fact that now I'm already legal to consume and buy alcohol, there's nothing really special about it.
But that's just maybe cos I've never considered my birthday to be anything special.
I don't count time. I never have.
Why count time anyway when it takes away so much from you?
And besides, the cynic in me is saying that it's only a year close to when you die.
Hmm, I miss being young and carefree and still believing in fairytales and prince charming and happy endings.




Fandom girl mode:
SHINee is really starting to grow on me.
A lot.
They're just so talented. Fantastic dancing and live singing.
And they're all pretty good looking too, young as they are.
They'll all grow up dashingly good looking really.
everytime I watch a live performance from them, I'm awed at the superb talent and how very young they are and how they have 10 more years ahead of them to just keep getting better.


And DBSK is really so much love.
I love watching them sing live cos they're just own the stage with their voices alone.
amazing singing.
it gives me goosebumps everytime.
guhh.
they're not as funny or hilarious or loser as SJ but they still make me happy. :)


And SJ.
they just need to get back together.
I miss them together.
No wonder Teukie's like so emo nowadays.
They're all over the place.
tsk.




I'm going on hiatus until my exams are over.
Good luck with me going cold turkey from all the kpop love.
And good luck to me for the backlogging (i hate backlogging)
Oh well, I can just ask my sis for everything. :)
It pays having a sister who is just as crazy as you about kpop boys. heh.

unsaid

It's really not nothing at all




Because I need you

Nothing at all

I don't know.
Should I be worried?


It's probably nothing at all.


If something happens.
If something happens to you


I just...I can't deal.

Robert Oxton Bolton once wrote, "A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind."