Sunday, April 08, 2007

Never leave your heart in cold ice

I'm more open towards love now.
I've always been until you crashed into my life and left before I could even take a breath.
Then my heart just...closed.
You could say that you were the one who jaded me because you hurt me so much more than haqi ever could.
You hit straight at my unprotected heart and you left this wound that I covered with a cloth to stop the blood flowing.
Yet the wound remains unhealed.
Dilah told me that I've covered the wound with a cloth to stop the bleeding but I forgot that the cloth absorbs blood.
And when the cloth is totally soaked, I finally turn my attention back to the wound and the pain I feel is magnified largely.
I suppose that's the reason why I cried over the remembrance of you last tuesday night.
Yet, in an ironic twist only life can pull off, I find that it doesn't hurt me as much anymore.
Maybe all this while, what I needed is not to push the memory and pain you granted me away, but to remember it, so that I can let it go.
I'm not saying it doesn't hurt because it still does.
Just not as much as it used to.

That's why I find myself more open to the idea of love again.
In the sense that I'm beginning to accept the idea of a significant other back in my life.
Needless to say, you killed that acceptance I had and now, I revived it back to life.
My heart is still closed but I know it'll open up sooner rather than later.

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