Friday, January 19, 2007

That look gets me everytime

Anger I can deal with.
But disappointment, that's something I can't deal with.
It's what makes me feel so incomplete and inadequate.
And so not good enough.
I hate that feeling.
That look of disappointment from anyone I love is enough to send me reeling and over the edge.
The thing is, if they throw rage or anger at me, i'll just numb myself and let it bounce off.
It's easy enough once you've mastered the art of putting up a solid wall around your heart so that their bullets just ricochet off and miss their mark.
Anger is subjective.
But disappointment...
Now that's something else.
Anger stings and then you'll probably forget it.
Disappointment haunts you.
As much as I hate hearing "I'm disappointed in you." or see that look coming my way,
I think I'm gonna warrant one of those looks soon.
And when that happens, I can only say I'm sorry and hope that's enough even though I know it isn't.
On a lighter note, working with my family even if it is a pain in the ass at times,
taught me a couple of things I would never find out otherwise.
Here's a little list;
1) One of the main ingredients in making the gravy of mee rebus is curry powder.
2) To make Nasi Lemak, the rice has to be soaked in milk or santan and then left to cook.
3) Onions go rotten in layers. Meaning to say that if you peel the skin off and notice it is rotten, just peel off the rotten layer and you'll have a perfect onion.
4) When an Onion goes bad, the rotten part is white and not black or something.
5) Nuggets can be cooked in portable toasters and it tastes twice as nice and also much healthier with no deep frying involved.
Yup. See all these useful things I have had the fortunate luck to learn.

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