Am I the only one here?

I'm blogging. again.

I'm bored to the point I blog just to let my fingers have something to do.

Besides, there's hardly anyone I feel like talking to online at this point.

I'm trying really hard to stay up all the way today so that my internal clock can get rewired a bit.

I'm getting sick of not being able to sleep.

Tried to create a list of things I can do at moments like this, 3am in the morning and wide awake.

Can't seem to come up with much other than blogging and reading since there's nothing good on

TV.

(this is another reason why I should move to my grandma's next year. There's actually cable for nights when my insomnia gets intolerable)

There's a nagging voice in my head that keeps suggesting that I could actually study but the thought of actually sitting down and opening up my books and immersing myself in the Cold War isn't really all that enticing.

Then again, I'm not the kind that studys at home either.

Hell, as much as I know I'm going to regret it later, I'm wishing real hard for school to start sooner.

So that I'd at least have something to do.

I'm looking forward to my early morning peace in the canteen and then going home real late at night after a good long study session.

I think I may be the only one who wishes this.

Sue already said in her blog that she's hoping the school would burn down.

haha.

I don't know. I just feel so restless all the time when I'm not in school.

and being at home doesn't help.

It somehow always depresses me, like this weakness I can't shake off.

I'm choking on all the expectations and all the unspoken words.

I'm going blind under my parents' watchful stare, I hate it that they still watch me for a relapse.

God, I yearn to come home at 10 or 11 pm at night after a long day at school and just minding my own business in my room where noone will bother me cos everyone's just too tired with their own lives to bother into mine.

Should really go talk to nenek about moving in soon. maybe next week.

damn, I wanna go back to school already. at least for a want of something to fill up the time.

I think studying and school has been a part of me for so long that I can't think what to do when I'm actually not in school.

I remember one of the J2s saying (nash i think) that you always moan about not having a life when you're studying for A's but then after A's, you suddenly realise you still don't have a life.

Haha.

Nyahh, I'm being random again.

Oh well, at least I'll see nad tomorrow.

Study date at Woodlands civics.

(Don't ask me why I bother to make the freaking long journey all the way from home back to woodlands.)

Kinda look forward to it.

At least I'll be out of the house.

Okay enough ramblings.

Nights, I'll go continue my reading.

:)