And I’m going to hold on to what little I have

It's only 9.41 but I'm damn tired and sleepy.

School was alright for the most part.

Got my horrendous GP essay back.

Somehow I passed it, with an E.

Like Ms Charles says : "24 is nothing to be proud of."

And I'm not.

In actual fact, I'm apalled at how bad my essay is.

I'm also apalled at the fact that I was complacent enough to think that reading the supplement packages and not paying attention to the newspaper clippings would be enough to give me good content to write a satisfactory essay.

I know Poly July intake is now open and I'm damn tempted to just get a withdrawal form and running over to a poly and taking mass comm.

A levels scare the shit out of me.

Not the actual exam but the consequences that the exam brings.

It's either university or nothing.

But, the one thing that I can't bear to give up is Literature.

Cos I know if I ever decide to go to poly,

I will have to sacrifice studying Literature.

And I will have to sacrifice the wonderful people I've met, my fellow 0734A babes.

I've grown more attached to them than to the tkgians.

Cos we've been through shit and are going to go through shit.

If literature and the people are the only reasons that keep me rooted to IJC than so be it.

I'm going to hold on to what little I have that keeps me going and

I'll still try my damn best to pass promos and get promoted.

It's been two days that you've been silent.

In normal circumstances, I won't worry.

But whatever we talked about last Saturday...

I think it struck a nerve even though you denied that it did.

I have no way to reach out to you, given the circumstances we're in.

I missed you (still do actually) like fuck all through the trip at OCS cos fiqa was msging amy and nami was msging nasz and shaf was msging B.

And I msged you but there was silence.

I hope you're alright.

Whatever little I have, I'll hold on to it.

I keep telling dilah to "have faith".

And now, I'm telling myself to have faith too.

And if that still doesn't work, I'll just keep convincing myself that you're damn busy.