It's not always black and white

omg i read my blog je, i saw someone's tag.
=)
afiqah, you too, chin up k.
know that me and fadh will always be there for you..


got that off bani's blog.. haha. so sweet. made me smile. thanks babe. :)

I'm not really in the mood to blog these past few days.

Too many things running through my mind.

Besides, I don't quite know how to express how I feel so yeah.

Still, I need to let it out somehow I suppose and not make myself go crazy keeping it in.

I know there's a whole support system/network out there for me but I hate bothering people.

Although I've made a deal with most of them that if it gets too much, I'll send out an sos.

:)

I took another day off from school on thursday.

Needed the rest and the solitude to clear my mind.

Ironically though, I realise its times when I'm not in school that the same crushing feeling invades again.

And its harder for me to fight it off when its just me, myself and I.

When I'm in school, around the people that shape my life now, I forget.

I'm walking on very thin ice now.

And I hope it can still stand my weight cos I don't want to fall through anymore.

Right now, I'm just simply hoping that my overdue breakdown will come soon.

It's funny really cos I'm half-hoping my mum or someone else would antagonise me and be the catalyst for a breakdown to happen just so that I can get rid of all this pent up energy, emotions and just plain shit cooped up inside me.

It's been a while.

Yet, my heart still stops in between the minute seconds it takes for the web browser to load and your profile to fill the screen before me.

And when I skim through your profile or the bulletins you post and you say something that just hits the spot, I find that I can't breathe.

I'm torn between my own ego and pride and what I stand for and the simple fact that I miss you like shit.

I just hope really really hard and wish with all my heart that wherever you are and whatever you're thinking, you know that.