I'm in the Aristotle Room in the library.
Was supposed to have a PW meeting but it didn't really go anywhere.
Now all my group members are studying for their chem test later.
I'm probably gonna go off when they start at 5.45 so I can get home and sleep for a while before waking up to study later at night.
Dilah came over yesterday night at around 11.30 to just chill with me.
Thank you cinta for taking time to come over.
I've been wanting to blog about it since monday but I found myself at a loss for words.
Its not something that can be easily expressed.
I have no idea how to say what I'm feeling right now.
There's just so many things I want to say to you.
But I have no idea how to.
It's been 3 days since Monday and I still feel so numb.
Monday night was the only night I really broke down and cried for him.
After that I just made myself go numb so I won't feel the crushing hurt, the pain that seems to infiltrate my lungs every time I take a breath, diffusing into my red blood cells and entering into the chambers of my heart, now a castrated organ.
I wish I could tell you how empty I feel.
But I somehow have a feeling that my words will fall on deaf ears.
That it'd be a waste of my breath.
Whatever you said on Monday shocked me, sending me reeling back.
I guess I sort of expected your answer but I still haven't accepted it yet.
The only thing that really disappointed me is the fact that you promised me the world but they turned out to be empty words, swallowed by the air.
I remember telling you, don't promise me anything because you might break them.
I remember telling you to not say you love me until you mean it.
You said you'll never let me go and that you'll always love me forever.
But you forgot that forever is only as long as you want it to be.
And your forever lasted up till monday.
You're the one that opened up my heart again, thawed me slowly.
And then, just as easily, with the same ease, you closed my heart again, locked it shut and threw away the key.
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