Confessions of Insomniac me...

Okaaay...all dis insomnia crap is reali starting 2 piss me off...Y e hell cant i jus go 2 sleep? im so dead tired bt no, my eyes jus wont close. insomniac. dats wat im supposed im called. A person hu suffers frm insomnia. duh. [if u r super blur n cant get y i'm rambling abt being an insomniac, check e tym at e end of dis post n u'll get y...duh.]


urgh...im sick as well..great combi. an insomniac hu's sick wif a goddamn headache and flu. Dis is all ur fault nikki. Pass ur icky sickness gems 2 me, y don't u? let dem haf a field day invading my cells... haiz...sori...im jus freakin tired n headache reali nt helping... :)


doesnt help dat 2dae marks e end of one tree hill...haiz...OC and lost ending soon 2...dis is so not happening...My thurs nyt marathons are so over...n no more CSI 2...onli highlight of my week frm next wk onward? ANTM and maybe if i bother 2 watch it[meaning it has 2 haf a cute guy lyk e last season...tink Bobby Jon..], survivor....yupz...pathetic huh? n exams cuming up 2...super great...im so thrilled..




I reali kinda need 2 get dis out of my system so i got 2 say dis...sumtyms i want out...being wif u is lyk dis one long never ending rollercoaster ride...n mostly its cos of me...im always e 1 swaying things...U, im reali sori, for all e hurt i've caused u...sumtyms, esp wen im in 1 of my in-built depression moods, i wish u wld jus leave me alone...e insecurity is always dere n at dis tyms i wish we'd nvr met, n ur life wld b much better off....i suppose if i did try harder i cld be e fren u want me 2 be...perfect lyk u r 2 me...bt i noe dat cn nvr happen...i tried n i failed...tym n tym again...i dunno wat i'd do wifout u bt i suppose i'll learn 2 survive ryt? i noe dat if u read dis its going 2 start dis whole tingy n mayb i wan dat...mayb i dun...i honestly dun noe...I've always tried 2 help so many ppl dat wen it cums 2 helping u, i cant...i suppose its retribution 4 all e tyms i was trying 2 be a good samaritan n help others n nt seen dat mayb u nd me 2..but now i realise dat all those ppl i've helped, i've lost em...n dey're nt goin 2 cum bak...sumtyms i tink i'm evil...cos i kinda pushed em away bt wen i tink of u, i noe it was all worth it...now, my world is getting smaller each day...n so many ppl r slipping away frm me...n u r 2...mayb u say im being ridiculous n paranoid...bt its true..2 a certain extent...baring our souls was so easy last tym...now, i dunno...things haf changed...i've changed...n u haf 2...i feel lyk i dun noe u...n u dun noe me...n its gonna stay dat way...tell me e last tym we had a gd talk dat doesnt involve 1 of us hurting e other? cn u remember? cos i can't...i miss it...e feeling dat i was safe, n loved by a whole load of ppl...now, those ppl r gone...at least e ones i know...dey're replaced wif ppl i dun noe...mutual liking is e word i suppose...dere r so many things i wan 2 tell u bt i cant cos u will prob hate me n nvr speak 2 me again...i noe u well enuff 2 noe dat dis will reali happen...am i a coward 4 nt telling u? am i jus keeping it frm u cos e truth will hurt u n tear u apart? am i scared cos i dun wan 2 be alone? am i selfish cos i wan u 2 nt go away? am i a hypocrite cos im nvr gonna tell u? yes. im all of e above...im a coward cos i cant bear 2 face u if u knew...n i am keeping it frm u cos it will hurt u n tear u apart...im scared cos i dun wanna be alone, wifout u...cos if u knew, u'd leave me...n yes. im selfish cos i still need u 2 keep me goin n i dun wan 2 go away n leave me 2 face it all alone...cos every1 will leave if dey knew...n im nt ready...n neither r u...i suppose i'll nvr be...n u'll nvr be either...cos e truth will hurt...both u n me...



Lo siento mucho tuvo que venir a esto. ..i nunca lo significó para ir a tal punto. ..But que lo hizo. ..N ahora, yo trato de pararlo. ..But es demasiado tarde y todo se hace. ..If que usted supo, U me odiará. ..you'll nunca confianza mí otra vez. ..Not jamás. ..I sabe eso. ..Cos que mentí. ..the tiempo entero que traicioné usted. ..and que mentí. ..and no asunto Mí..