Tragic Life I Lead...

2 am. Jus watched One tree Hill. Opened up sum wounds i tried hard 2 ignore, 2 push away...now they're bleeding again n nth i do can stop it. the endless pain.hurt.


"There are only two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."


At the start of the year, I wished for happiness and love. To be anywhere in the world and knowing u mean e world to sum1 out dere. It was jus a harmless wish i made wen i saw a shooting star. But, i got my wish. I gained what my heart reali desired. 4 once, i felt hapi. it was a great feeling.


But then, i lost it. Some ppl say if sth hurts u dat badly, u shld let it go n 4get abt it bt i'll nvr gif it up or exchange it 4 sth else.nt in dis lifetime.


In a sick cruel way, i experienced both tragedies. I gained and i lost. But mostly, i realised that i've actually lost sth far more valuable. Myself.


Now, i dun noe hu i am animore. I've turned in2 sum1 i dun even regconise. Sum1 i dun noe n dun wanna be.I've become sum1 i despised. I hate it dat i haf 2 live wif e way i am now day in and day out. Cos i dun wan 2.


Maybe 2nite, wen i look out e window, i'll see another shooting star and i cn make another wish. Wat wld i wish for? For everyting 2 b e way it was. wen i was truly hapi being hu i am n nt having 2 hate me 4 it. Lyk e way i do nw.


Fact is, wen u've been thru a turning phase in ur life, it'll change u completely. Either 4 e better or 4 worse. Whether u change in2 a better person or u turn in2 sum1 totally different n nt hu u wan 2 b, its life's little game.