To fuck with it

*

Her hands twist, and he winced.

Ragged and angry lines on expanse of porcelain skin

Tracing each contour,

that same sigh escape his chapped lips

Too broken,

It's not enough for love to heal.

Dilah slept over last night so as a direct result, my eyebags are horrible.

We really should try sleeping early. at 12 or something.

Yeah right. Aku cakap macam betol jer.

Anyway, I realise I need to write more.

Inspiration hasn't come as easily as it used to.

I think it's because I'm not in school right now.

Somehow inspiration always visits in the midst of The Treaty of Versailles or the woes of An Ageing Population.

Thank god JC's starting soon.

Although that would mean starting afresh, a white slate yet to be touched,

I'm looking forward to it.

At least my brain can be engaged in the growing of more dendrites.

Mum just told me that cik imah and cik sein are getting a divorce.

She heard from cik sam cos' cik sein asked him if he had space at his house for cik sein to stay.

I'm stumped but not surprised.

I kinda saw it coming.

And I know perfectly well Fad will follow his mum.

All the more I won't see him.

Rayer is gonna fucking suck without him.

Fuck.

I'm gonna miss him, that sucker of an almost twin brother.

He's the one who tells me I'm a beauty everytime he sees me.

Ah, to fuck with it.

I'm thankful that my family's complete.

Regardless of all the dyfunctional crap, I know my dad loves my mum and us, the kids.

As much as they shake the walls of my room, shouting at each other,

I know they'll never give up on each other.

See, cos' they compliment each other.

My dad's like a volcano, dormant yet liable to erupt. kasar.

And my mum's rain. cleansing and calming.

She puts out his fire.

Everyone says she's the most patient person ever and I agree.

If she wasn't, she would have left my dad a long time ago.

"Tiada bimbang sayangku. Kerna laut kan tetap mendakap pantai'

A line from my dad's love poem to my mum.

Sial ah. Biler maser entah my dad's cheesy and romantic.

He wrote her letter after letter and always ends them with said line.

I hope my marriage later will be as strong as my mum and dad's.

"Sometimes I wish I was a leasbian." wtf? lolz.