Neurasthenia

neur·as·the·nia

Pronunciation: "n(y)ur-&s-'thE-nE-&

Function: noun

: an emotional and psychic disorder that is characterized especially by easy fatigability and often by lack of motivation, feelings of inadequacy, and psychosomatic symptoms.

It's not in scientific use anymore.

They call it "clinical depression" now.

Sometimes I think I'm suffering from that again.

I get so emotionally drained sometimes that I have no energy to do anything other than curl myself up into a ball on the floor and stay there.

My muscles are all tensed up.

God, I really need a massage to ease out all the kinks.

I think what brought about this might-be bout of neurasthenia is the stress.

Stress from the results and other things like work and all that as well but mostly just -

the RESULTS.

Which are coming out so soon I am too numb to even comprehend that.

I mean I know that the results will be released sometime about now but it hasn't sunk in you know?

I think it will probably, truly sink in when I see the little announcement in the morning paper.

Then all hell will break lose and I will seriously FREAK OUT.

And so will everyone else.

At least that's comforting to know.

That I'm not freaking out alone.

The perfect remedy to counter this whatever the hell it is, is some calm and soothing ambience.

Which is exactly why I'm going off later for a much-needed therapeutic fix at the beach.

Have you been to the beach lately???

The wind is great albeit freezing.

It's like natural air-conditioning.

Stayed there from 5 all the way till the early stars came up last Tuesday.

It's incredibly calming lying on your back and looking up into the sky with the wind whipping your face and just letting your thoughts roam.

Another great place for a quick therapeutic fix is, believe it or not, the viewing mall at terminal 2 of Changi Airport.

Granted you can't lie on your back, well technically you can but that's besides the point.

It's pretty quiet there on weekdays and especially after night falls.

Just don't even attempt to go there on a weekend day cos there'll be troops of little boys and girls on excursions and it gets extremely noisy when they jostle each other for a chance to press their noses against the glass or for a chance to stand on the metal railing.

Why they're on an excursion to a viewing mall that doesn't even offer a good view of planes taking off, is beyond me.

They should have just gone to terminal 1.

The view is better but the actual viewing mall isn't as nice or as cooling.

Any-o-how, everyone has their own special place.

That special place where they get calmed and comforted.

For me, back when I was still in school, it was the little corners behind the classroom block or the top of the staircase near the hall.

Now, since I already left school, it's the stretch of beach along Pasir Ris Park since it's convenient for me to get to.

It calms me even more when my friends are with me.

That's where I feel safe and protected.

Maybe I should call that home.