Weekends are finally here.
The past week seemed really long somehow.
Thursday in particular was just surreal.
And it's one of those times, like how dilah graciously pointed out, that I'll never forget, probably for the rest of my life.
It's not everyday, more accurately, not ever, that I let myself cry in front of a group of people.
Not because I can't feel. I do.
But because I hate people seeing me when I'm vulnerable.
Certain friends don't count cos they're not just people. They're friends that keep me going.
I don't think anyone other than myself understood fully why exactly I cried so damn hard that thursday in P2-3.
When the brunt of the rage and anger and insults wasn't directed at me at all.
I think only I know why.
I'm still reeling over the fact that I actually let myself crack so badly.
By the time I was curled up on dilah's bed that evening, I was at that stage where the tears just won't fall anymore cos I was just so tired and so drained, and I was disengaged and just staring blankly at the patterns on her bed sheet.
I don't regret standing up for what I felt was right.
I think if my life was a novel, and someone characterised me, they'll come to realise that I'm someone that places friendship very highly on my list.
And I can't stand it when I have to see my friends get hurt, especially more so if whatever is hurting them is uncalled for or grossly unjustified.
I'll just snap because people can hurt me, but when my loved ones get hurt, I'd do anything -fight tooth and nail- to vanquish all the monster from under their beds.
I guess that's because it's so much easier to save them, and stand up for them and protect them because I can't protect my own self from the monsters under my bed and from the demons in my closet.
Anyway, I've put thursday behind me but if anything like what happened that day happens again(which I bet it will), I'd do the same thing I did anyway.
Well, now that that is out of the way, Friday was road run day. :)
It started off really blah.
And during the taurus house meeting, taurus was like a dead bull, without wings.
seriously.
Then the rain started half way through, causing the staff race to be cancelled and the event to be cut seriously short.
We did the house cheer competition and taurus kicked ass!! :)
as always of course. heh.
They decided to announce the results on monday though. bugger.
Regardless, I had a nice dinner with my loves. :)
Even though we got caught in the rain half way when walking to KFC.
haha.
And I realised it was the little things that really made me smile that day.
Like how jia automatically stuck two straws in my drink when we got food,
and how ying cheerfully told me she loves me too even though I was bickering with her and had just called her a moron. (she still is a moron for the record.)
:)
I've concluded that I'll let them paint over all the cracks.
I'll let nad and khai dry my tears, and hold my hand when I break.
I'll let Jia give me a hug to cheer me up and I've decided to just let her nag when she's exasperated at the rest of us cos it makes me smile.
I'll let ying tell me it's all going to be okay and we'll get through it all together cos that's what we do.
I'll let li tease me and laugh at me cos it amuses her and it amuses me to see her amused and I love to see her smile cos it makes me happy.
I'll let the rest make me smile and laugh and just make my day.
And I'll let dilah break down all my walls because she can and because I trust her.
Damn, I love you all.
Really. :)
and thanks a lot for yesterday, for today, and for tomorrow, until the end of forever.
Random thing to think about.
"If love is blind, then how can there be love at first sight?"
haha.
True.
But I don't believe in love at first sight.
Fairytales yes. Aliens too (cos aiden lee donghae believes in aliens) .
But love at first sight?
That's just superficial.
The past week seemed really long somehow.
Thursday in particular was just surreal.
And it's one of those times, like how dilah graciously pointed out, that I'll never forget, probably for the rest of my life.
It's not everyday, more accurately, not ever, that I let myself cry in front of a group of people.
Not because I can't feel. I do.
But because I hate people seeing me when I'm vulnerable.
Certain friends don't count cos they're not just people. They're friends that keep me going.
I don't think anyone other than myself understood fully why exactly I cried so damn hard that thursday in P2-3.
When the brunt of the rage and anger and insults wasn't directed at me at all.
I think only I know why.
I'm still reeling over the fact that I actually let myself crack so badly.
By the time I was curled up on dilah's bed that evening, I was at that stage where the tears just won't fall anymore cos I was just so tired and so drained, and I was disengaged and just staring blankly at the patterns on her bed sheet.
I don't regret standing up for what I felt was right.
I think if my life was a novel, and someone characterised me, they'll come to realise that I'm someone that places friendship very highly on my list.
And I can't stand it when I have to see my friends get hurt, especially more so if whatever is hurting them is uncalled for or grossly unjustified.
I'll just snap because people can hurt me, but when my loved ones get hurt, I'd do anything -fight tooth and nail- to vanquish all the monster from under their beds.
I guess that's because it's so much easier to save them, and stand up for them and protect them because I can't protect my own self from the monsters under my bed and from the demons in my closet.
Anyway, I've put thursday behind me but if anything like what happened that day happens again(which I bet it will), I'd do the same thing I did anyway.
Well, now that that is out of the way, Friday was road run day. :)
It started off really blah.
And during the taurus house meeting, taurus was like a dead bull, without wings.
seriously.
Then the rain started half way through, causing the staff race to be cancelled and the event to be cut seriously short.
We did the house cheer competition and taurus kicked ass!! :)
as always of course. heh.
They decided to announce the results on monday though. bugger.
Regardless, I had a nice dinner with my loves. :)
Even though we got caught in the rain half way when walking to KFC.
haha.
And I realised it was the little things that really made me smile that day.
Like how jia automatically stuck two straws in my drink when we got food,
and how ying cheerfully told me she loves me too even though I was bickering with her and had just called her a moron. (she still is a moron for the record.)
:)
I've concluded that I'll let them paint over all the cracks.
I'll let nad and khai dry my tears, and hold my hand when I break.
I'll let Jia give me a hug to cheer me up and I've decided to just let her nag when she's exasperated at the rest of us cos it makes me smile.
I'll let ying tell me it's all going to be okay and we'll get through it all together cos that's what we do.
I'll let li tease me and laugh at me cos it amuses her and it amuses me to see her amused and I love to see her smile cos it makes me happy.
I'll let the rest make me smile and laugh and just make my day.
And I'll let dilah break down all my walls because she can and because I trust her.
Damn, I love you all.
Really. :)
and thanks a lot for yesterday, for today, and for tomorrow, until the end of forever.
Random thing to think about.
"If love is blind, then how can there be love at first sight?"
haha.
True.
But I don't believe in love at first sight.
Fairytales yes. Aliens too (cos aiden lee donghae believes in aliens) .
But love at first sight?
That's just superficial.
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