sick of playing ur twisted game...mayb...

i'm so sick of all ur krap.. sick of being ur pawn. sick of u making use of me and then pushing me aside like i dont matter 2 u...noe wat, mayb i never did...


jus cos u dun haf any1 else 2 turn 2 n u noe as a fact i won't shun u away...dat still doesnt gif u a reason 2 treat me lyk dis...y do u do dat? crush me a lil day b day...does it gif u satisfaction 2 do dat? 2 noe dat i let u get 2 me lyk dat..


y do u always take me 4 granted. "Oh, i shall go 2 her since i dun haf any1 else..." y? u always seem 2 overlook all e hints i've given u..r u reali dat scared 2 show ur emotions? mayb..wats e point.i've given up trying 2 tell u aniwae..it doesnt matter ryt?


i alrdy am insecure enuff wifout u adding 2 it all...ur reali nt helpin u noe...dismissiveness may b ur key 2 everyting bt its nt ever gonna work wif me..ever.i mean it. i did so much 4 u. sure say its my ego toking bt u noe its true. u noe it n mayb even if u didnt, now u do.. 4 ur happiness i sacrificed everyting. n i mean everyting.cos i want u 2 b hapi. i wan 2 c u smile. i still do..u above all others.bt u dun seem 2 realise wat i've done...i didnt mind cos as long as ur hapi, i'm hapi...bt now, its 2 much. i cant take it anymore...all ur games. no. enuff is enuff.


i need u. 2 keep me alive. 2 get me thru every day. bt sumtyms, i need a timeout..4 a while..i suppose i'll be ok after i've calmed down.. i haf 2 b..haiz...i jus needed 2 vent it out sumwhere...u noe i dun mean it..its jus sumtyms, i find it veri hard 2 keep up. wif u...ur so full of surprises. n sumtyms, u shoot away so fast, u leave me alone. in the dust...


i jus realised dis whole post is meaningless bt since i cant b bothered 2 write another, it'll haf 2 do...n i do haf plenty of apologizes 2 make...ironic huh? wen i'm down, i tend 2 say stuff dat makes ppl say stuff 2 me dat'll cos e wound 2 hurt more...dats wen i feel lyk i wan sum1 2 totally crush me, hurt me...bt deres oso tyms wen i feel lyk lashing back...causing every1 ard me as much hurt as i can...i dunno y i'm lyk dat...


r u askin me 2 change? if u r, guess wat, gt ur wish...i will change...n wen i do, u'd b surprised...


Wake Up To Reality.


Reality is painful
Stabbing me in the back
Slapping me awake
Pinching me hard


Sometimes I wonder,
What would I do,
Without you as my backbone, as my soft fluffy cushion.
Supporting the whole way
Through this blood-stained world.
Supporting me through this merciful Earth


Through and through, by and by
My heart just crushes,
More and more.


A mere scratch,
Becomes a wound
Piercing deep into my heart
Sorrow fills my entire life,
Tears become a common event.


Suicide, could be,
The only way out
Out of this forest
With no signs of life


Dark and hopeless, my entire world
Crashing before me as I mourn
Tumbling down, my life, so dear
Fragile and icy,
My heart now is


Sometimes I wonder,
What would I do,
Without you in my life;
As my pillar of strength.
Without you in my life;
To support me through,
Without you, forever by my side.
[by Carmen V...my sissy...]





"Sometimes, the ones you love the most, are the ones that hurt you the most..."