Sleep. Sleep is good

I'm so sleepy that I'm in a state of brain comatose or something like that.
The cup of coffee I just drank doesn't seem to be working.
I don't think it's very good if I suddenly get immune to coffee because it's a huge part of my diet and I'm too addicted to it.
Well at least I only drank 2 cups instead of the normal 3 or 4 today.
And I had 3 proper meals instead of just coffee and some other munchies or nothing else.
I'm really need to continue mindmapping my history stuff but I can't seem to stay awake so I'm just going to go off and sleep.
Hopefully I can wake up a bit earlier and then meet Ying to study at Singpost.
Singpost. been ages since I went there.


I can't remember what else to say.
I'm intrigued by Greek philosophers but taking philosophy is a little dangerous for me because I know I'll think about it all too hard.


Taeyang is love. All of him. Really. Like who doesn't love him?
And "Unfadeable GD stun'em" and TOP's "so we can do those kinda things fantastic.
And Battle and all of Taehwa is love too.
"I love you never let me go." and Chris's "Everybody just get down neol wonhaneun nae mam dagaga slow down" and Ryu's "Saranghagoshipo flow with me"
And there should be more Donghae love in the world because everyone loves Donghae and I miss him and China should give him back to me like right now.


And I love goong because it's funny and I don't care that I only watch 10 minutes of 1 hour a day and I'm super slow cos there's so many other things to watch like Absolute Boyfriend which I really really want to watch because Night in the manga is super love and :)


I'm rambling. I'm sleepy and tired and I want to just drop dead now.


Did you know that Al-Ghazali wrote "the incoherence of the philosophers" to counter ibn Sina and then ibn Rushd countered his book with "the incoherence of the incoherence."?
I just learned that this morning and it half-amuses me.
The incoherence of the incoherence.
Like ADD Donghae and fail Eunhyuk and -_- Eeteuk's jokes.

"Until the end of forever."
"But there's no end to forever."
"Exactly."


If you can't see it, how sure are you that it's still there?
Like if you can't see love, how do you know it's still there?

Because I know this won't last

I had one of those rare good days where I just feel happy and content and at peace.
Its strange though because I was late for the Malay paper and I almost missed it totally which will be bad because I'm kind of banking on Malay to make up for my other sorry results.
And I did the narrative for karangan which I am NOT supposed to do because it's too risky but I was forced to as I totally blanked when I saw the other questions and I couldn't remember what the stupid definitions were.
Oh and I think the fact that someone, a super junior fan, bless her, actually stuck thumbtacks on the notice board in their initials and that somehow made me happy cos I'm just weird like that.
And Ying makes me happy too because I think she's the only one that lets me insult them really horribly and still give me nice hugs after that.
And she makes me happy because she's my study partner. :)
And sitting at the back of the Woodlands MRT station with Ramly burger and you tiao made me happy too because it just brings back all the memories and its nice to remember them.
And listening to Big Bang's Baby Baby and Youngbae and Battle over and over again makes me happy too. I desperately wanna go see YB's concert on the 20th but yeah right I can fly to Korea and back again to go see it.
Tvants offer some form of live coverage or something.


I'm only starting to feel slightly nostalgic now.
For some strange reason.
I miss TK really.
probably because I just saw pictures of my former niners and I'm just struck by how much we've all changed.
I miss my niners and oh, Gerry and her stories and bitching with her and B and Abby during social studies and writing stupid stories that don't make sense and gushing and fighting over Torres and telling Renee she's crazy for loving Steven Tyler to death.
The only time I ever talked to her this year was during that time Mdm C treated us to Swensen's and she was there but we couldn't really talk much because after a while, you just run out of things to say.


And I'm missing UK again.
So badly. ergh.
I wanna stare out the bus window at all the fluffy sheep and the green pastures and the valleys and the hills.
I wanna run to BK's without a winter coat and proper shoes again.
I wanna walk down the streets of London and sing that song again.
I wanna go into old and random bookstores that are cramped with books and sit there and choose books all day.
I wanna go shopping at Marks and Spencer and spend 45 minutes deciding whether Tuna bread or Egg and Watercress sandwich sounds better.
I wanna ride the Tube again and get lost in the London Underground.
I wanna play with the frost on the grass and see a rainbow at Covent Garden one more time.
And of course, I wanna cook maggi mee on Sue's hotplate and boil potatoes and have a slumber party again.
I just want to go back there and relive everything again because I feel that I didn't pay as much attention as I should have.
Dilah, you are so going there with me one day because I wanna share that amazing shit with you and then we can tour Europe and take the train to Paris and Rome and gahhh.


I'm also probably feeling nostalgic because today's the 26th of June.
One year already.
I didn't even realise until I was writing the date down on the exam paper.
I'm not thinking about it or dwelling on it because I'm not going to put myself through that.




Other than that, things have been going pretty okay-ish.
I've been writing more and getting more ideas and all the comments I've gotten really makes me feel so ...... it's hard to explain the joys of writing.
And I feel so touched that all the people who read my fics don't even technically know me and we've never met but their approval and their comments means so much to me already.
And dilah love, thank you very much for making my day. (and to a large extent, my week too)
because you have no idea how much what you said means to me.
Like way more than you can imagine.


My sister just asked me for the link to read my fics too and I feel strangely touched and honoured at the same time because I think her poems are wonderful and her approval and comments means just as much to me too.


I guess the one thing I love most about writing is the fact that I know no matter what happens, no matter what people take away from me or no matter how hard they break me, they're never going to be able to take that away from me.
And that's one reason why I live.


I've talked too much already.
I haven't even started my SEA mindmaps and Ying will murder me if I don't at least get started and complete one or two.


I need to remind myself to enjoy this while it lasts because I know it'll never last.
Life isn't built that way and happiness is a fleeting thing.

Drained

I am so extremely exhausted mentally and physically.
I got home close to 11 because I was studying in school.
Me and Ying were working our asses off for the paper tomorrow.
I actually finished colour coding Tempest early but I helped Ying colour code her DOM and now my head is spinning with all sorts of freaking colour schemes and lines and random quotes.
We stayed until 9 plus because the uncle that normally closes the school didn't come to shoo us out and even though me and Ivan tried telling Ying that staying in school overnight is not so bad after all cos we'll get the whole canteen to ourselves, she decided to rush us off anyway cos we still needed to run to the photocopiers to zap copies of DOM mindmaps for me to read through for tomorrow.
I swear if I don't get at least a C I will either kill myself or quit school or do something equally drastic because I just dedicated 10 freaking hours colour coding and helping Ying mindmap language and Ferdinand and Cardinal.
Besides, I already know that my history is pretty much a gone case.
Suffice to say, the paper on monday was one of the worst papers I've ever sat for in my life, inclusive of all the maths papers.
There was no time.
And I already lost 25 marks because I only wrote 5 lines for an essay that is meant to be at least 2 and a half pages long.
Oh well, at least I'll have mindmaps all ready for A's. :)


Sidenote: My sister has Donghae as her msn display pic!!!
And Donghae's her favourite and she showed EHB to two other friends and now they like Hae too and I am not happy because now I have to share him! hrmph.
The only good thing about her obsession with EHB is the fact that she's slowly infecting her whole class with Super Junior germs. o.0


I'm going off, need to get my cup of coffee so I can stay up all night and indulge in literature.
*shudders*

Happiness is a state of mind

I've already decided that I'm going to screw the history paper on monday
I'm actually more concerned with mindmapping the rest of my notes and colourcoding my book.
Besides, I really don't think I can memorise everything in time by tomorrow night.
sigh.
History just kills me. over and over again like some bad dream.
I have no idea why I even bothered to take anything other than lit(in malay or english)
Oh yeah. Because my mind cannot stand to take in anything logical and theoretical such as Econs.
I was struggling a little with all the shits I just don't get when we did the Global economy for history.


I'm not even showing any signs of panic or stress or anything of that sort.
I think the only thing betraying the fact that I'm in anyway affected by all this pressure is the fact that I haven't eaten anything proper or in the right amounts in 3 days and I don't feel hungry at all.
It's like whenever I do eat something, I'll get really nauseas and feel like throwing it all up into the toilet bowl.
And also the fact that I get tired and sleepy but when I get into bed and the lights are off, I don't sleep until its early morning and I have to get up in a few hours.
Other than that, I'm still happily spending my day reading fics and writing some bits and pieces and trying to study all the times in between.
I've already decided that I'm not sleeping today cos my Mum brought real Nescafe and it's so potent I love it and I can stay up much better. :)
So at 12, I'm swearing off the internet and the computer in general so as to better facilitate the colour coding of my Tempest book and then start mindmapping a bit of SEA before I meet Ying and then start trying to cram all the hideous facts of the Cold War and other such things into my head.




I'm currently using the laptop while slumped against a wall beside my sister's bed because she's back from JB and I miss her. Kind of.
She's watchign Gossip Girl and EHB!! while waiting for Gossip Girl to load.
She keeps laughing her head off and everytime I look over at her and see the screen showing some hilarious or ridiculous SJ scene, I laugh along cos it's so funny and it makes me happy.
Oh and she made me really insanely happy again when she came home this evening.
The first thing she did was to open my room door, and ask me if I've got any Super Junior or DBSK albums because her friend wants to listen to them.
:) :) :)
I remember staring at her for a full minute before gushing off in a string of probably incoherent questions.
She says she loves watching EHB but she'll never ever for as long as she lives, listen to any songs that she can't understand.
But her friend is starting to get into SJ and DBSK and :)
I've decided to help her along by giving her a list of videos to watch cos that girl has already watched the whole lot of EHB.
sial. That's fast. I took so much longer. >_<
I'm still not sure how to tell her exactly where to begin because 1 thing is Super Junior is already a huge group to begin with and they have loads of variety shows that are hilarious to watch.
And I want to instill Big Bang and Battle love in her too but I'm worried that it's a bit of an overkill.
But I think the girl can stomach it, cos she already has a couple of Super Junior songs in her phone (my sis told me) 0.o
Though I should probably warn her that Kpop and all its fandoms can probably kill her and steal away all her available time and make her slightly insane cos she'll be laughing in front of the computer and sometimes crying too.
I think at the rate she's going though I can force her into the SJ fic fandom cos she seems to be getting through videos pretty fast.


Whoa. That was a whole load of stuff on Kpop. Sorry readers. >_<
I just can't help it cos it makes me so happy.
I don't get why no one else except Sue gets it. Oh and maybe Dilah does to.
And my sister and her friend.
Oh, I already made my new year's resolution for next year.
I'm going to try get into the Jpop scene as well as immerse myself completely in fandoms.
:)

The things we do

It's almost 1 in the morning.
My room's still a mess cos I was cleaning it and now there's stuff strewn all over the floor.
And I'm hungry. I haven't eaten anything since KFC with Shaf but there is absolutely nothing to eat.
:(


I had a semi-fulfilling day.
Went to school for history consultation and Mr Mahmood was impressed with our mindmaps and he wants a copy. lol.
I spent the next 2 hours photocopying stuff for him and fiqa in the library before heading off home to nap.
I haven't done anything much after I woke up at 8 other than clean my room and write another fic in between the breaks.
I'm too tired and exhausted from all the late nights and lack of proper sleep to study right now.
My brain feels fried and I think my brain cells are dead or something.


Hmm, I have ideas for 10 other fics but I don't think I'll have time to write them all.
Maybe I can finish one or two more in between my study breaks tomorrow.
I'm just glad for once that I can control and rewrite something even though its purely fiction.

Echoes from the past

I had a very fulfilling day.
Managed to complete mindmapping another history book and colour code the whole of DOM.
All in under 6 hours. :)
Although I think studying in an air-con room for a long time has given me permanent sinus or something and its starting to get annoying because I never had it before! sheesh.


Then I met shaf for a late lunch/dinner.
To be honest, it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be.
We fell back into the same fluid flow of conversation just like always,
trying to fill in the gaps from all the time.
We just skirted around things that are meant to be left unsaid and I'm okay with it.
I had a good time because I really miss moments like that when it was just me and her talking endlessly over random nonsense.
If only everything else would be this easy.




I really really really hate how you keep popping up out of the blue without any warning whatsoever.
It's disconcerting, its disturbing and I just plain hate it.
Just stop.

Holding back the tears

I'm living with my tears
mugeopji anhge naui maeumeul maego georeoyo
gakkapjianhgo meolji anhgeun gose
dareun naega seoittjyo ulji anhayo nan..

I'm holding back the tears
gabyeopji anhge naui mideumeul maego ddwieoyo
nopjido anhgo natjianheun gose
ddo dareun naega seoittjyo
jageun misoro nan useulsuitjyo...
-DBSK, Holding Back The Tears

~
I'm living with my tears
I walk
Trying to lessen the weight of my heart
To a place that is neither close nor far
Where a different me stands
I will not cry...

I'm holding back the tears
I run
Adding to the weight of my faith
To a place that is neither high nor low
Where a different me stands again
With a small smile, I can laugh...

I've been playing it on repeat for a while now.
Just because.
It mirrors how I feel right now.
I think I'll go crazy if I don't study because then I'll be faced with having to deal
with emotions I'd rather not deal with ever.
I can't figure out if I'm doing this because I really want to do well or because I just need something to occupy me so I won't crack.
I just can't figure it out.
I really want to curl under a blanket.
I really want someone to hold me until I crack so that I can cry on their shoulders.
So that I can get this out of me cos it's driving me crazy.
It hurts to breathe.
And it fucking hurts even more to want nothing yet everything at the same time.

400 :)

It's my 400th post. :)
I'm not going to post some celebratory thingy or anything like that.
Truly, I don't really have much to say except that Fandom is making me insanely happy and my sister made me insanely happy just now too!
She casually told me that she's currently watching EHB which I transfered to her comp.
And she says she thinks SJ are all cute in their own way and she likes Donghae and Siwon and Kibum too! :)
I love spreading any kpop love.
First Dilah with Taeyang and now my sister with Suju!
Heh. I feel accomplished.
Although I know my sister will probably never in her life listen to anything korean but no matter, she's watching EHB!! ^__^




I'm meeting you hopefully on thursday.
I'm looking forward to it because I miss you. Really.

Context is all

I'm down with a fever. Again.
That makes it twice in less than 2 weeks and thus why I didn't go for History this morning.
Other than the fact that I'm sick, I accidentally fell asleep at the study table at 5.30 in the morning when I was supposed to have already gone out of the house. -_-
Well whatever it is, I think studying overnight is really working well for me.
Most of the time, I study 2 hours straight before taking a short break where I'll either watch another installment of Princess Hours or continue writing another fic I've started.
Speaking of which, I posted 3 fics up on the Super Junior fic community and I've gotten really encouraging comments. :)
I'm happy and extremely satisfied because I've managed to actually write some quality fics.
And I feel damn accomplished too.
What with Sue's mega TOP collage and all the fics I'm writing and all the studying I'm getting done.
It makes me feel oddly comforted somehow

Very random people have made me smile this week.
Especially those who I've not seen in a really long time because of some falling out or other.
I miss the old times and in a way, I'm kinda happy that it's starting to fall back into something I can understand and grapple with.
Although, I'm still a little afraid of meeting up.
because I'm scared of all the awkward silences and I'm scared that I have no idea what to say.
But like what Dilah said, it's better to just let it out in the open then keep it all in because who knows what might happen tomorrow and you'll end up living with regrets the rest of your life.

Randomly, this is why I really love and adore Aiden Lee Donghae.
I took it out of Meitachi's LJ. Its translated from the 50 questions fans asked him back in 2006.
I only took out a few.
He makes me smile. :)

4. What is love: When it comes, it’s easy. But when it leaves, it’s like dying.
5. What’s the most important characteristic of your significant other: As long as I like them, it doesn’t matter.
18. What are the pros of dating: Always wearing a smile on your face
19. What are the cons of dating: You need to use love to embrace shortcomings
20. First love: My parents.
24. Someone you’ve loved since you first saw them: Mom
25. Love or friendship: Both are very important
27. When do you most miss people you love: Right now
28. What would you do for your girlfriend on your 100th day anniversary: Sing
35. What would you name your future children: Namhae (South Sea), Seohae (West Sea) haha
36. Where do you want to study abroad: Oh, Disneyworld.
40. Rate yourself: People all have incomparable charm..
49. Say something to someone who truly likes you: Let’s kiss, sweetheart!
50. After fifty questions, do you have any question to add: Do you like me?

Let's just not go there

I am severely jealous of my sister. She has completed all of her work and she's spent the last 2 weeks watching various shows online.
She just started on Gossip Girl because she finished Project Runway and ANTM and god knows what else.
Did I mention that she's only 14?!?
I was never that zealous when I was 14 for god's sake.
There must be something off with the cosmic balance because I need to be zealous and turn into a nerd but I am not.
What the hell is wrong with me?
ergh.


I shall not even go anywhere near explaining my day.
It's just not even worth it and besides, it will just make me even more irked.
I think the only highlight was meeting Sue to get my book back from her and seeing the look on her face when I gave her the fantabulous present I made. :)
A special 18 picture (cos she's 18) TOP collage (cos he's always on TOP of her list.) and a few Big Bang pictures too.
It was greatly satisfying and I feel extremely accomplished.
So Sue, Happy Birthday again!
Make an awesome collage for my bdae too okay?!? Donghae would be nice. Or you can just buy me Donghae himself. :)


Okay, I'm off to study a bit before sleeping because I promised Dilah I would.
She thinks I don't take care of myself enough. I think so too.
Then I think she'll kill me if she finds out that I'm sleeping less than 7 hours a day and not eating properly cos I've just got no appetite.


Randomly, I think this is super cute and kinda hot. heh.
They're all wearing Big Bang Boxers! :)

Gomawayo

I feel extremely light headed and disorientated.
It's almost 5 in the morning and I'm in need of sleep even though the coffee has done a good job in keeping me awake long enough to complete mindmapping lecture 7.


After I posted that last post, I forced myself to continue mindmapping, to at least fill up the whole page even though I'm so tired and my brain is like a pile of smoosh or something equally disgusting.
I'd actually let videos load while I work so I can watch after I'm done.
Was going to watch Goong(Princess Hours), but I decided it was too much to take in so I decided to complete watching Idol World starring Suju T and I'm glad I did. :)
I feel a little better because they made me laugh so much.
I was literally shaking with the effort of trying to hold my laughter in because my sister is sleeping on the bed at the other end of the room.
I just really really am thankful that I got to know them because nobody can make me laugh like Super Junior can.
They are such dorks and losers and so hilariously funny that it's unbelievable sometimes. -_-
Still, thank you Lee Soo Man for forming them and letting them debut even though I still disagree with your decision to split them up into sub groups and sending half of them to China (with my beloved Donghae as well...).
And even though SJ have been disappointing me this past few months due to their split up nature and lack of togetherness and new exciting singles and songs (like BB and Battle), I've just got this to say;
Super Junior, gomawayo. Sarangheyo. :)

I'd rather have it tested and true

I'm starting to feel extremely jittery and scared shit, not to mention nervous that Prelim 1 is in about 10 days and I am extremely not prepared.
I'm even more freaked out by the fact that I'm not in total panic mode yet by now.
I've still got a ton to do and the whole thing just seems so daunting that I just don't know where to start.
I haven't finished mindmapping my history notes and I've got to get it done by Sunday(which is impossible) so I can go through it and hopefully get something in my head.
History is just killing me right now because there is no way I can bullshit my way through a paper if I don't know my facts properly.
At least I feel sort of secure for lit because it's something that doesn't scare me but History and the past and all the freaking wars and mistakes and countries all over the place is terrifying me.


There's this part of me that feels like just screwing this and just not caring.
I want to do the things I want to do like stay in bed the whole day and sleep or just watch vidoes and online TV the whole day, read 10 books in a day because I can.
I want to go somewhere, anywhere, that's not here.
Maybe some exotic place, some uncharted island or the Alps, the ivory coasts, underwater
where I can just forget everything because the future is really just this big huge dark looming mass that just seems impossible to me.
I need school to start again because then I'll have something to distract me from all this thinking and thinking and thinking.


I just feel like breaking down right now because I can't stand anymore of this.
I'm getting exhausted and so drained of fighting my own self and I can't even get my head over how ironic that is.


And it's dawning on me that as the days go by, I'm getting more and more cynical and jaded.
Of life, of the value of trust, of the value of genuine friendship, of love, of people, of everything.
I see myself sometimes like as though I'm a robot on a mechanical drive, doing things just because I have to and getting by because that is what is expected of me.
I find myself searching for the reason, the meaning, the zest.
And I can't find it.
I've shielded myself with this whole layer of cynicism and concrete walls and for the most part, I always manage to protect myself, to run away and indulge in some form of escapism, at least for a while before I'll have to bear the consequences of pushing it all away.
But as it always is with life, there's a catch.
Being cynical and jaded doesn't come without a price.
Because the only way for you to not get hurt is by not letting anyone in at all.
And that's the price I'm paying, the reason for my cynicism and my almost "contempt dislike" of social interactions with particular people.
It's just so much easier to keep everyone away.


And of course, the most bitter irony is the fact that even though I'm starting to reach that level of cynical and jaded as hell, and I tell myself I don't give a damn about the people that have disappointed, that don't show up,
despite all that, the most bitter irony is the fact that I still care, I still love and I still miss.

Look only at me

It's almost 3.15 in the morning and I'm in a mood that is too chipper for such an insane time.
It's probably from all the Battle and Big Bang and Youngbae playing on repeat on my iTunes.
And it's making me really happy and in a good mood. :)
I've even transfered ringtones onto my phone so that BB's With U can be my message alert tone and YB's Gido is my alarm and his Look only at me is my ringtone. :)
Hahah. My sister said I'm certified crazy.
But I can't help it. I think YB is super hotstuffs. heh.
And his songs are so addictive! (so is Battle and BB.heh)
Even dilah is getting into it.
I got so super excited because she was asking for more and more YB and Big Bang MVs when I gave her the link to With U. :)
Thanks cinta! You made my day that night. (how totally paradoxical. -_-)
Oh and sue's got her HOT album and I'm freaking jealous and envious because I want it really badly but I'm so broke it's impossible.
Besides, yesasia needs a freaking credit card and I don't have one. sheesh.
Nevermind, I'll just get it when I start working and earn lots of money to splurge.

And because I've been totally addicted to their songs this past few days, I'll do a mini pic spam. :)

Battle!Lio, Hwichan, Taehwa!!, Ryu and Chris :)

Taehwa looks adorable. :)


And Big Bang!Daesung, YB, TOP, GD and Seungri. :)



And of course, there has to be Youngbae photos. hee.


:)


It's almost 4.30 now and I'm off to bed before YB wakes me up at 7 plus.
Night world.
Sweet dreams.

For tonight, I'm only meant to know

You know how life works in weird ways and one moment you're laughing your heart
out and the next moment you're scared shitless and you feel totally off balance?
I had one of those kinds of days on Wednesday.
I can't remember what happened throughout the day.
I only remember studying with my sister in the living room, singing aloud to Secondhand Serenade and Mayday Parade and laughing over some stupid thing when Li called and I swear it
just threw me off balance.
When I heard that fiqa got into a pretty bad accident, the first thing I thought was oh my god.
Then I froze and couldn't even think clearly for the next hour or so while I was calling people to spread the news and arranging a time to meet with Nad.
When we went to see her the next day, it shocked me a little bit more that she's in the high dependency ward but I'm thankful that she didn't sustain any major internal injuries.
Hell, she could she still converse pretty well and joke around albeit a little bit weak.
She fractured the whole of her left leg and her right thigh as well.
I know its going to take her some time to fully recover and learn how to walk again but I'm confident that she can do it.
It's just that on the way back from the hospital, I just couldn't get the image of her laying there all pale and weak, with monitors attached to her and drips all over.
I just couldn't get over the fact that I even witnessed her like that.
Maybe because I know that things like that happens but I never thought that it'll happen in my life, to me or to someone I know.
It's like some rude wake up call.
Hey you're not invincible and don't for a second let yourself think you are.
It just hit so close to the bone.


Other than that, I've had a pretty great weak so far.
Been spending more and more time with my sister.
We study together in the living room (I don't get why she is so semangat when she's not even taking O's yet. -_-) until late at night.
And I've been sleeping on the floor in her room for half of the week too.
It feels good to have someone to talk to late into the night.
And my sister, she can have a decent conversation with me and that counts for something given her age.
Sometimes I forget she's only 14 because she can talk about anything and everything and she's really mature in her thinking too.
Kinda like me sometimes.
Like right now, I'm typing this while sitting on a mattress in her room, with the laptop on her bed.
She's doing her own online stuff on her study table.
I think without my sister, even though we have our fights and all that, I'd probably not be half the person I am today.
All those times sleeping on the floor with her on countless other nights before this one.
I think they kinda shaped me to be who I am today although I'm sure the nights we spent singing every single hi-5 song out loud don't count.
Yeah believe it or not, I used to memorise every single one. -_-




Short sidenote: I'm totally in love with Battle's single and Youngbae's mini album!! I've been playing them on repeat since yesterday. :)
Oh and super junior finally did a full 13 member comeback at the dream concert yesterday even if they're going their separate ways again after this. -_-
Still, it's so good seeing them together again though they all look like they've lost weight.
And kibum looks damn cute again. haha.


Good night.
Sweet dreams.

Because I was tagged by Jia

I don't normally do this but since Jia tagged me and since I've got nothing better to do, I'll just do a quick one.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?

When I've settled down and found my mr. right.

2.If you can turn into anything, what do you wish you can turn into?

A phoenix. So I can live forever. (I don't know. sheesh)

3. What job are u doing now?

A professional student

4.Where is the place that you want to go most?

Anywhere but here so I can forget. But since it doesn't exist. Back to UK would be good.

5.If you have one dream to come true, what would it be?

For my mum to be worry free.

6.Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?

No. Because I know that I don't have to see it to believe.

7.What are you afraid to lose the most right now?
My reason to live.

8. What cheers you up for the rest of the day?

Smiles and laughter. My cats. Coffee and gelato. Super Junior and DBSK and Battle and Big Bang. And Aiden Lee Donghae, Micky Park Yoochun, Jin Taehwa and Youngbae.

9. If you could have any kind of gift in the world, what would it/they be and why?

The power to heal. So that no one needs to hide the scars and wounds anymore.

10.List out three good things of the person who tagged you.

She genuinely cares.
She makes me smile.
She's a good friend.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

He needs to be taller than me so he can protect me. But more importantly, he needs to be able to hold everlasting conversations with me, make me laugh and love me more than the stars in the sky.

12.What type of person do you hate the most?

I don't know. I think its too superficial to say that there is a particular type. There could be a hundred reasons why you hate someone anyway.

13.What would you do if you won a million dollars?

Donate half of the money. Invest 1/4 and splurge the rest on kpop stuff, books, a new house for my parents etc

14.What is your ambition?

To look back when I'm 80 and think that I've truly lived my life to the fullest I can.

15.What would you wanna be after you’re dead?

What's there to be? I'll just be 6 feet under anyway. -_-

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?

my flaw of running away.

17. What is your favourite color?l

Blue. Black. Red.

18.What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

Everything.

19. What’s the last thing you think of before you go to sleep?

random stuff.

20. What would you do if tomorrow was the last day of the world?

I would spend every second with someone I love so that they know I love them. And I wanna try a lot of crazy and risky things just because I can.

I'm really on a kpop high right now. Haha.
Sue just sent me Big Bang's For The World.
And I've downloaded almost all of DBSK songs. :)
And Battle's single rocks!
And so does Young Bae's album!!
For the record, he's my favourite Big Bang member and I think he's super hot. :)