If it should come to that

"[Jane],let me tell you something about love. It's different every time. It's nothing more than a chemical reaction, an arrow over an equation, but the elements change. The most fragile kind of love is that between a man and woman. I believe that you can fall in love many times with many different people. However I don't think that you can fall in love the same way twice. One type of relationship may be steady. Another may be fire and brimstone. Who is to say if one is better than the other?"

Once again I'm plagued with that feeling I can't really explain or rationalise.

I think cos I just miss you.

As much as I try not to show that I do.

Although I suspect that I'm transparent enough that select people can see through that unsaid lie through my teeth.

I try not to look into your eyes because I'd always feel really bad and sorry that it turned out like this.

I know I turned back on my word, swallowing them again, cos I'm taking steps away from you ; I'm walking away.

Damn I really miss you.

But I don't want this whole thing to start over, occur again, repeating like the waves on the shore.

I need you to realise what you need to realise.

I don't need your apologies, I just need you to change.

I know it's impossible to expect that out of you but that's just me being honest.

Come to think of it, I don't miss you, as in the you now, the you I don't know.

I miss the old you.

Back when we thought we could conquer the world and fight off everything because we had each other.

Back when things were so simple and black and white with no shades of grey in between.

It's so sad to think that we might as well be utter strangers.

wait, we already are.

`Am I overreacting? Honestly.

`Overreacting? you're not even giving any reaction whatsoever.

`Hmm...You're afraid of things that you can't control and sometimes you use anger or you just go numb to cover up how you actually feel.

`You're unpredictable fiqah. Like the sea, wild and untamable-

`-_- You're quoting pirates?!?

`Anyway, yeah you're unpredictable. Sometimes you can stay still and calm but not always.There's always this part of you that's raging to get out and express itself.

-* I don't have the courage to look you in the eye.