When it all comes back to this

Life is built on paradigm shifts.

One minute, you're on top and you're in perfect control and the next, you're crashing hard towards the ground and everything just spirals out of your control and you're like an elevator cut loose at the top, falling and falling into this deep, dark chasm.

Today's a perfect example of how life is essentially one big huge paradigm shift andhow unpredictable life is.

You think you know.

I guess it was imperative that we God destined for us to meet at the same place that holds so many memories for us even though they're short-lived.

I always knew that one day, the stars will dictate that our paths cross again.

This place, this time, I wasn't prepared for it.

I turned and there you were, right in front of me, a real hallucination.

I blinked but you still stood there.

"hello!" you said, "Don't you remember me anymore??" and my heart just went numb.

With every beat and every breath I took, the pain just seemed to be flooding into the chambers of my heart.

I didn't register what you said to me, how you reacted, how when you touched my shoulder, my nerve cells jumped and shot poison through my veins.

I didn't register anything at all.

Just the fact that there you were, standing there, looking at me , suffocating me more and more.

The fact that this is real and you're real.

I saw everything through glassy windows and everything around me blurred except your eyes cos you've never failed to drown me in that shade of brown.

You were nonchalant, indifferent, used to it.

Whereas I struggled to get a foothold, to reel back from the shock of seeing you again.

And it took everything out of me not to just crack and let you see the layers underneath all these concrete I put up.

It took everything out of me not to just scream at you and hit you over and over so you'd know how it feels like.

How it feels like to have your core ripped apart from your being and shredded into a million pieces.

I was that close to erasing you, obliterating all traces of you from my mind.

And then you came back, barging your way into my life like you have every right to do so.

Like you have every right to tear open the bandage I placed over the wound and make it bleed new again.