I'd freeze you at that moment

I feel like being random and retrospective at the same time.

Somehow there's benefits in being both right now.

It's to keep me continuously numb so I don't think about what's happening and miss cinta to much. She's in M'sia and I feel a bit empty without her to irritate me. Especially after she spent last Wednesday listening to me babble about how it's all piercing shards now.

We saw fireworks when it was 12am, from my bedroom window too.

Pretty interesting. haha.

There's a lot of food on the kitchen table now.

My grandma came over from a birthday party and she brought lots of good stuff with her.

Nuggets, crabsticks, samosa, popiah rolls, karipaps, cheese macaroni, fried bee hoon, grilled stingray, sambal goreng and a box of chocolate cake and brownies.

I didn't really eat all that much though.

Haven't been having much of an appetite lately.

I amused myself after eating a bit of mac and cheese, by feeding fyrus some chocolate cake.

He liked it and kept asking me for more.

Honestly, what does he not like? haha.

And afie told me she forgot to pass me my UK pics dvd when the three of us went to the museum last wednesday.

(truthfully, I'm kind of apprehensive about watching it. cos I know it'll just make me sad and miss UK more.)

It was real fun actually.

Didn't have time to go through every single sculpture though. :(

and we missed the themed tour on mythical greek gods and goddess. :(

Still it was fun! :)

There were some korean tourists there too. I recognised the language but I had no idea what they were saying.

Sue understood though. tsk. I really have to go learn hangul after A's.

Probably going again next wednesday so we can make the tour. haha.

Still not confirmed though since sue has to see whether she's going for touch and afie can't join cos she has soccer practice. :(

I was just thinking about how all the three trips that I went to at the end of last year all made a different impact on my life.

Pahang taught me that I can accomplish even the most impossible if I put my heart into it.

However, I can't do it alone and I'll need people to help and support me along the way.

In a way, Pahang instilled back the half-dying spirit inside me.

KL.

Well, to be honest, other than giving me the love of another set of parents, it hasn't really given me anything.

Not that I didn't have fun there. I did.

It's just that it's becoming more and more apparent that the trip was more of a hindrance than a help, because it unleashed the cruelty of politics into well-built friendships.

It left me and everyone else displaced.

I don't think it's just me.

For the record, it sucks.

And UK.

truly, it has somehow given me so much.

I went there with total strangers who've really become dear friends.

And somehow, 12 mere days on such a foreign country changed something in me forever.

And I can't even get started on how much I miss it.

Every day, almost all of the minutes. It's like an ache that's just there, hidden beneath and resurfaces everytime I let my guard down.

If I had a choice, I'd freeze time when I was still there.

And I'd freeze the people in my life that have mattered most, at the time when they meant the most to me, when they've made the most impact on my life.

And then I'll bring them with me, back to the time I freezed in UK so I'll get the best exerience life has given me with the best experiences people in my life has given me.

I'd freeze my mum, my dad, my sister and my grandma, for every single day and for always. because they're the one constant in my life that has never and will never change. For the record, mummy, I miss you.

kak ann, I'd freeze you for that time you saved me in 2006. and for the times you spent,curled up on my bed, listening to me. and for always.

abg wan, I'd freeze you when you visited me at the hospital and told me you'd be there for me forever if that is how long it will take for me to pick myself up.

nikki, I'd freeze you for all the number 10 bus rides and for all the late night phonecalls and for all the 4 years, minus the downside.

dilah, I'd freeze you for that time in kfc, all the sleepovers and 3 hour phonecalls. and for all the times afterwards up till today.

farhan, I'd freeze you when you stayed up with me throughout the night even though we were strangers and you didn't know me,just because you thought someone should. and I'd freeze you for all the times you made me laugh at night and for all the times you just magically understood.

haqi, I'd freeze you when you let me cry and fall asleep on your shoulder and for still patiently waiting even though you deserve someone worth waiting for.

34A, I'd freeze us when we were still complete and whole and together.

shaf, I'd freeze you for the 15 mintues daily corridor talks. and for the times at the airport. mostly, for all the times before I lost you.

li, I'd freeze you for all the times you were unselfishly there for me. especially throughout the time my heart got broken in july. and for all the times you've been a pillar of support I could lean on.

naz, I'd freeze you for all the times you understood. for all the times, you listened. and for all the times you were willing to save me. over and over again.

nad, I'd freeze you for that time in the library when you sat there with me and listened to me talk. and for all the times you made me realise how lucky I am to merit such frienship even though our differences can be the death of us.

kakhai, I'd freeze you for that time at the end corridor on that particular wednesday when you realised I needed finding. and for that time on the bus and in macs and for all the times you've been there for me. even though sometimes you needed someone there for you too.

Sadly, life doesn't work that way.

And I can't freeze anything.

Not time, not the moment, not the people.

truly, the only thing constant is change.

If it's going to be this way...

I used to say that the only reason I go to school is for lit (not because I like the subject or the tutor or whatever. but because of my love of the language and literature in general) and for 34A, my beloved CG, my comrades in arms, my friends, my brothers and sisters from different mothers.

Now, I'm just going to school for the sake of it.

Not for lit anymore, not for studies whatsover.

And sadly, not for the same brothers and sisters that I've been through hell and back with.

I'm just going through the motions for the sake of whatever little its worth.

And if my one and only solid and constant rock in school (be it studies or other things), the same rock that I can always count on to never change, my Epsilon minus moron, quits or withdraws, then I'm going as well.

There's really no reason else for me to stay.

What's there left anyway?

When it's all broken into fragmented pieces.

nawa kyolhone julrae?

Been wanting to post this up for some time.

It's super junior "proposing" in lieu of their mini Marry U concert.

They're super sweet. :)

My favourite is sungmin's! damn sweet. :)

"If I have lived my life for myself so far, then from now on, I want to live for you" -siwon. Haha. His is so dramatic in a way but that's just him. Doing everything with feeling. haha. He seems more endearing as I continue watching them. :)

"You said before that you love me more. I thought about it and I feel bad. Will you give me some more time? I will prove to you that I love you more. You have to stay by my side until then." - sungmin. *melts* so utterly sweet. :) He's not really one of my favourites but he has his random cute moments. haha.

"But compared to my mind, my heart remembers you faster."-heechul. He's really one of a kind. He's overtly frank and can be harsh at times, but he still has a soft side. And he's one hell of a joker.Always making me laugh whenever I watch him. :) Although I bet it takes a lot of patience to go out with a guy like him. -_-. haha.

"Are you disappointed that its only ramen? Ramen is the only thing that I can cook well. But do you know the one thing that I do best in this world? It's loving you." -eeteuk. :) He can be such a sweet dork. (actually they all can -_- ) and his laugh is damn adorable. oh and must remember the dimple! :)

My favourite donghae was being -_-. His is so random. :) and kibum's was classic. Just play the piano and then stop suddenly and ask "will you marry me?" haha! If I was the girl, confirmed I'll be like so terperanjat sia. lol.

They are really such loves. :)

Super Junior, saranghae! <3

Revelations of the worst kind

It's been a while.
Everytime I've wanted to say something here, it gets lost the next moment.
Anyway, here's a summary of last week.
(I think my blog will be permanently based on summaries of the past weeks -_-)
Monday: nothing very much significant happened in terms of emotional roller coasters.
Had the Bangsawan workshop though and it was pretty fun even though I realise I looked like a stiff robot while doing the dayang tarian. and that's why I'm never in dances. haha.
Tuesday: I was already burnt out. Screwed up my lit test etc etc. refer to my last post l k.
Wednesday: my 45 minute date with mr probability went better than I expected even though he asked some questions that just confuzzled me. Oh, and I reaffirmed my status as a member of the loser club when me and nami had this super loser moment. shall not repeat what it was to not rub in the fact anymore. Just think of reading the timetable wrongly and walking out of the right lecture hall. -_-".
Thursday: I took a break from school cos the stress and all that was really getting to me. it still is getting to me. and the doctor didn't really help at all.
Friday: I finally passed a maths test. :) and then I panicked cos I realised I have a shit load pile of work to catch up on and do. Went home with sue again and we sent afie to the mrt station. haha. our weekly friday lunch time seems to be not materialising. tsk. I miss the london babies laaa. and I miss england so damn much. I think I may have left part of my heart there.. Like scattered all around the places we went to. -_-
Saturday: Sucked. and dilah love, thank you so very much. for that day and for always.
Sunday: celebrated my dad's birthday by ordering in kfc. wasn't as nice though. was quite disappointed actually.


And so today is a new week.
I wouldn't say its the best start of the week I've had thus far.
In terms of academics, its been pretty smooth sailing.
Meaning, no outbursts from any teachers and no major information overload from history like always. maths was confusing but still manageable. malay lit was like normal and I'm pretty happy with my essay results thus far. hope the test next week goes as smoothly.
Basically, I didn't have it that hard for academically inclined matters.

It's another thing for the other part.
I guess to sum up, the day was built upon revelation after revelation.
It'll be too blunt to state what these are so its just enough to say that they've somewhat aversely affected me to an extent.
Its ironic that the thing I'm trying so hard to run away from and save myself from is staring me directly in the eye.
My trained eye can't help but be drawn to it because as much as I hate to admit it, a huge part of me misses that addictive touch.
I hate to be the one observing such destructive damage on people I love and care for.
I guess, hypocritically, if its me, that makes it all okay.

And then right about a few minutes ago, I realised how past revelations of secrets can actually come up to backfire on you.
Yes I feel the sting and yes I wish I can take back whatever I said so you didn't have to hear it.
But life just isn't built that way.I said it and you heard it and now its secretly drawing a line between us.

And my wasted heart will continue...

My aunt's been trying to reach me the whole day.

When I finally picked up, expecting some bad news or other,

she went on this whole gush about Hady Mirza's birthday bash this Saturday at Temasek Poly or something like that.

I didn't exactly have the heart to kill her enthusiasm by saying that I don't really fancy or like Hady all that much anymore and that honestly I really don't have time to go since I've got shit loads of work to do and even more shit loads of studying to get done.

(think 1000 word essays and thick stacks of lecture notes)

And the best part is, she was unstoppable for over 5 minutes.

I think she said everything in one breath and she kept repeating the fact that I have to call Ria fm and answer some questions to win free tickets.

-_-'

I'm already so tired and weary of school.

I was totally out of it today.

Really too tired to even talk or interact much.

And my lit test after school was pure rubbish.

I took so long to get myself together and start timing myself to start the paper cos I was stoning too much.

I really felt like just breaking down on the spot cos it was kinda getting a bit too much.

Naddie says I should take a break off from school tomorrow but I'll just feel bad cos I'll be missing lessons and my maths test tomorrow(which I need to continue studying for).

besides, there's lit tomorrow also.

Which will mean that Ms. N's going to start tiu-ing the rest when she realises its not full attendance again.

I'm going off to get some sleep.

Hopefully I can wake up.

It seems like even the most loudest alarm clock fails to wake me up.

-_-

I hate that this is even happening at all.

It's not supposed to be this way.

And I can't help but ask myself why is this the case again,

why is it that everytime I learn to open up and trust someone, everytime I find a secure life line I'm not afraid to use, Time will slowly snatch them away?

And so now you see why I don't trust easily.

In a stark moment of realisation, it dawned on me that a small part of me still misses you.

A lot.

It still stings but the hurt is duller now.

More like an ache I can't fully cure no matter how completely and absolutely you've disappered from my mind.

I miss you.

And that wasted part of my heart will continue missing you.

I'm not but I need to be

It's the end of the week again.

Pretty slack week with a few ups and downs here and there.

Honestly, I've had worse.

Monday: was supposed to go off to ikea with li and naz but we ended up eating munchy donuts instead. :) and I caught a short glimpse of dilah when she came to take the book. :) I still miss you a lot you fucker ass. :(

Tuesday: went off to ikea with naz. I had total fun "planning" my future house with her and exclaiming over all the ingenious ways they plan and organise their space. I think my future house will be solely ikea decorated. -_-

Wednesday: climax of the whole week. ilham, take care please. and as for you, you know who you are, thank you for being there when I finally start to feel.

Thursday: I'm starting to really get tired of neo-pavlovian conditioning and epsilon minus semi-morons. and the TI-83 GC I bought is apparently no good for the exams. thanks. and I walked sue home again, where obviously, she had a stupid loser moment. haha.

Friday: nothing much happened. probably going on a mini Super Junior marathon later. I need to laugh.

My perspectives have changed significantly over the past few days since wednesday.

I realised for one, that I am not super girl and I'm not invincible.

I realised that I cannot make it alone, no matter how much I want to or feel that I have to.

Letting out the bottled up emotions a little bit was enlightening but ultimately painful.

I know that I need to keep doing that to stop myself from going over the edge.

But now, there's a part of me that's telling me I have to continue being a super girl simply because I cannot rely on others to keep me alive.

besides, I realised I've run out of significant life lines.

If you asked me how I got from there to here, I'd tell you I have no idea.

And so that's just how it is

It's only 11 and I'm already damn sleepy.

Came home late again, given the fact that I'm not on any study timetable yet.

Was actually supposed to go to ikea with naz and li since naz wanted to get the frame.

Sidenote: It seems like everyone's inspired by my idea of a picture collage as a birthday present cos kakhai just asked me to help her get one also. -_-

But, we decided to just go tomorrow instead since it was getting quite late.

We ended up going around causeway point, trying to find a CNY hamper basket for their class.

After much debating and walking around, the main aims were still not achieved and we deviated by buying munchy donuts and indulging in sinful but oh so yummy donuts! :)

haha.

I'm so dead for PE tomorrow.

Gotta lose a lot of calories cos I really ate quite a bit just now.

Ah, the moon's really nice now.

It's a real full moon and its a cloudless sky too, which doesn't happen very much often these days.

That's a sign that it's a super great night to go stargazing.

I was walking home and I looked up to see all the stars twinkling down at me. :)

I miss going stargazing.

Shall go soon.

:)

Completely and absolutely

My cat's crazy.
He managed to open a sealed tupperware of sambal ikan bilis and was happily eating it by the time I found him in the kitchen.
I'm still hopelessly trying to figure out how he actually opened the cover seeing as how it's a tupperware and he doesn't have fingers. -_-
And this is not the first time he's eaten stuff that cats are strictly not supposed to eat.
He's eaten a whole red bean pau by himself, a couple of slices of omelette, even sambal telur! Sheesh, he's a freaking monster.

I read somewhere that the 5th season of One Tree Hill just started.
Damn. I've missed a hell lot in the time Channel 5 stopped showing it on TV.
I miss watching it. Not because of Chad Michael Murray (even though he is hot.), but more so because I miss the wonderful quotes.
And so I googled it and the all powerful and omniescient internet has kindly given me a link to a whole collection of one tree hill quotes. :)
Shall slot one in at the end of every post (if I remember that is) in red italics. heh.

Sometimes I wonder if anything is ever complete anymore.

Are all the puzzle pieces joined together to paint that whole picture?

Or am I the only one with a piece of my heart missing?

And Sometimes I wonder if anything is absolute anymore.

Has there always been a clear line between black and white?

Or did I simply miss all the streaks of grey in between?

And I wonder, can someone ever be lost completely and absolutely?

Lost in between the grey streaks with pieces of their heart missing.

Cos that's how I feel right now.

Lost completely and absolutely.

Lucas: (voiceover) Octavio Paz once wrote: Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone.

Randomised

It's been very long since I last posted.

Getting more and more busy now. haha.

The week's been pretty much okay.

I'm not going to recap on it or anything cos that's too much of a bother.

Anyway, I had another super junior marathon run just now.

I must be crazy cos there's so much to do. -_-

I got to finish up a couple of presentations and try to somehow write the script for the Restu radio drama project if I have time.

There's still maths to do and History to complete.

Oh and yes, Lit.

haha.

On a random thought, I went home with sue yesterday and walked her home. :)

She's very nice to talk to and its like we talk about anything and everything.

mostly crap though.

She's promised to go make a study timetable for me since I'm in desperate need of one and she loves to create such nonsense. -_-

She's seriously a great friend that I've come to know more this year.

It's strange cos in UK, we didn't even really talk all that much.

We didn't even acknowledge each other's existence in the begining of the trip. sadbut true. haha.

Only when she got grouped to sleep with me,wen jia, joey and afie that we sorta got closer.

damn, I still miss UK. :(

And psst, sue! I want a UK collage too! *hint*hint*

I really wish some people would just leave me alone.

It's the one I want to be around with most that's not there.

And if it's not already blantantly obvious enough, open your eyes soon k.

I can't stand the way you interact with me and your paranoia sometimes and as much as you want it all to go your way, it's never going to so just give up trying.

And I miss you...

Today's not a good day.

Almost lost it in school.

Strange how very mundane and minimal things can be a deadly catalyst for a catharsis of emotions.

I want need a catharsis now.

and I've been thinking and missing something I'm not supposed to be missing.

It sucks cos it's always in the back of my mind somehow.

And I'm severely missing my cintaaaaa. :(

It's been so long since we had a proper talk and even longer since we last went stargazing.

She said that at the rate we're going now, we're going to start drifting apart.

It's so fucking scary cos it's real(yes I admit it) and slowly manifesting I really don't want that to happen.

I've lost too many anyway.

And she's someone that I don't want to or even think of losing.

So dilah love, as much as I don't say it and will never admit to you aloud, I do miss your scenarios alot (since you don't have cats. HAHAHA!!)

Kk, seriously now, I do miss you. duh. Like fucking shit a lot. seriously.

Hopefully,I'll see you tomorrow when we go buy the book.

God knows, it's a better outlet than drowning it all in coffee and laying off food like what I'm doing now.

K, I'm going off to watch EHB to cheer me up.

Oh! I bought their 2nd album just now!!! whee!! :) :) :)

Super junior makes me damn happy, even it it lasts only a moment. :)

Happy Birthday Orli! <3

I just came home from watching Beauty World at the esplanade.
The theatre was nice and so was the musical.
Although I'd much rather prefer plays.

I'm pretty tired and have blisters cos I was so gatal to wear heels. -_-
But I can't afford to sleep since I still have quite a bit to do.
I'm just going to go take a break and watch super junior EHB which I just started watching a few days ago.
This time it invovles all the members except kyuhyun cos he's still recovering when they shot it.
And it's funny too! haha. I'm really starting to love them more and more.
They are such dorks who really do retarded stuff sometimes. haha. -_-

Anyway, I just remembered that today is Mr Bloom's birthday!
I got over the whole obsession over him quite some time ago but still, it's nice to credit him for being one of the first celebrity crushes I had that was constant. haha.
So Orli, happy birthday love. You're 31.
God, how time passes.

I love this pic! you can see a peep of his sun tatoo. haha. :)

hottness in POTC 3 (which was a dismal end to the series. was damn disappointed when I watched it)

Dreams are merely rehearsals of the future

It's been quite a tiring week already.

I'm not so much as burnt out as tired and weary of all the homework I have left to do today because I procrastinated on other days.

And added to that, due to a totally heart wrenching loser moment, I did not save my Lit essay when I did it yesterday. So I basically have to redo it all over again. -_-

Was supposed to have lunch at pizza hut to celebrate Wen Jia's birthday but it got cancelled cos a lot of people can't make it at the last minute.

Tsk. We have to go out on friday!

If not, we're never going to since the schedule for next week is pretty much a repetition of this week.

God, it's so hard to arrange a suitable time to meet up and we're all from the same school.

-_-

I'm starting to think it'll be even more impossible to arrange a date with the people outside of school.

A's is apparently making my social life totally non-existent. I don't even technically have one with the people from the same school as me who has more or less the same schedules.

and study dates do not count as having a social life.

My house has somehow turned into a 2nd home and safe haven for my sister's friends.

They're over here ever single day, sometimes straight from school.

They mostly do their homework in the living room until pretty late at night.

One of them is over so many times and for such long periods of time that I think she should really just move in since she comes straight after school ends and stays until 11 or 12 at night??

-_-

Goodness. My own sister is giving me a signal to start studying properly.

I've lost my train of thought.

Shall go and do lit now but before that, I said in my last post I wanted to post the vid so here it is!

It's so incredibly cute and happy that it never fails to make me smile. :)

the first to sing is sungmin at 00:17

hankyung at 00:25

heechul at 00:29

shindong and eunhyuk is on at 00:33

DONGHAE's singing at 00:47!! He's superr cute here and I love his voice!! :)

shiwon comes on at 00:55

eeteuk starts singing at 01.00. I like his cute little kiss at the end of his part. haha. and the more I watch Sukira, the more I think he's cute. lol

kangin comes on at 01:12 after sungmin sings again.

ryeowook is at 01.19. he's voice is so controlled. like whoa.

heechul comes on again at around 01:46

After which, Kibum sings! heh. He normally raps. and his "die smile"!! :)

and the last member in this video to sing is yesung at 01:56.

kyuhyun's not there cos he was still recovering from the April accident when this was shot.

Super Junior Pic Spam! :)

Warning: this post will be heavily pic spammed!

I just finished watching Super Junior Full House just now.

The ending was so sad that it made me cry. :(

However, I've really enjoyed getting to know Super Junior and their lovable and hilarious antics.

They make me extremely happy!!! :)

So to celebrate, I thought I'd do a pic spam. nyahaha.

Those who think I'm crazy, you'll probably think I'm crazier.

To Sue, enjoyyy.. and thanks very much!

I've already decided who's my most favourite member and it's Lee Donghae! aka Aiden Lee, which is his english name. Aiden suits him so well cos it's cute like him. heh.

He has a wonderful personality and he's cute and hott stuffs. :)

He always never fail to amuse me and make me smile when I'm watching him, especially with his many flips and attempts at speaking english. :)

and I love his voice!! especially when he sang in happiness. :) (i'll post the video soon.)

I think he looks much better in action though but still, here are some pics of deareast Donghae.

He looks hott even when he's frowning! heh.

haha. cute smile, fishy! :)

In this pic, he's totally sexy! nyahaha.


cuteness!

Donghae = LOVE <3

And next on the list is Kim Kibum! his english name is Bryan Trevor Kim. :)

I love him almost as much as I love donghae.

He is super cute and his smile is to die for! heh.

He was not as outspoken as donghae in full house cos he's more on the shy side but he does have his moments. :)

And I like it when he speaks english. so hottt. hehe.

His "die smile"!

haha! cuteness! :)

god, I'm seriously in love with his smile. :)

Next is Siwon!

He's the tall, charismatic gentleman who somehow always gets bullied in fullhouse. haha.

His gentleman-ly character is pretty appealing I must say. :)

Dimples! :)

Quite hot in this pic. heh.

Haha. cute smile!

Next is the resident pretty boy, Heechul!

He's also known as cinderella. :)

Extremely funny and such a joker! It's freaking entertaining to watch him cos he will always always make you smile and laugh you ass off. :)

I love this pic cos of the cat! Heechul likes cats too! :)

I like this pic of him. He looks more manly than his normal pretty boy. :)

Next up is Korea's No 1 Racoon, Kangin!

haha.

And this is Hankyung!

He's really the gentleman too! and an extremely honest and nice guy.

I sorta liked him when I was watching full house. heh.

And I love it whenever he uses the "I'm a foreigner!" excuse when he's trying to escape from situations. -_-

And all the above are the members of Super Junior that was permanently in full house.

Now it's time for those who made appearances!

and first up is Leeteuk!
He's the oldest member and also the leader of Super Junior.

He can be cute at times though I don't really prefer him cos I think he looks a bit too girly

Sorry sue. heh.

he actually looks quite hot here. I love his hair. :)

And now, we have teacher Eunhyuk!

He amuses me with his ridiculous explanations of things and his dancing rocks!

And lastly, we have Sungmin!

Wahh, his butterfly kick is damnnn nice siaaa. like whoa.

And so that's the members that I've gotten to know in full house. The other members were not there most of the time since they were living in another dorm.

Oh yes, in case you're wondering, full house is a show featuring the first 6 members of Super Junior in my post, who welcomed 2 foreign girls (anya and eva) for a homestay. :)

Lastly,
Thanks Super Junior for being so cutely adorable and so entertaining to watch.

Thanks also for the nice songs and dance moves.

and lastly and most importantly, thanks so much for making me happy! :)

I suddenly thought of you

I always consider thursdays my "burn out" days cos I'll be damn tired by the time thursday comes.

This is all because of my everlasting and annoying insomnia that only allows me 3 or 4 hours of sleep a day, sometimes less.

Yeahh, I'm crazy and it's freaking unhealthy to torture myself like that but I have no idea how to prevent the insomnia. -_-

Anyway, I mentioned that cos ms nathan was saying about how we all need to sleep at least 6 hours a day to prevent having a nervous breakdown which could be exacerbated if you're a coffee drinker/addict.

I think she should have just said "don't be like fi.". haha.

But hey, in my defense, I've been laying off the coffee cos there's no more cold nescafe in the canteen, only some crap brand which lives up to its name and tastes like crap.

I know I'm supposed to cut down on my usage of the comp which will mean no more blogging.

I'm not caring much for that cos I love blogging loads, even though it's weird to talk to myself at times.

Still, if I don't express the maelstrom of words in my mind, I will go nuts before the term is even over. nyahaha.

My sister is freaking crazy.

She's using her handphone like nobody's business and really overusing it.

She clocked 400 minutes of incoming calls for last month which amounted to a cool 350 bucks.

that's not even inclusive of the outgoing calls she makes and the messages she sends.

sial la. that's waaaayy more than what I clocked up in my whole time as a mobile phone owner.

Thank god for her, the incoming calls are free. If not, she'll probably be killed by my parents.

She's already in shitloads of trouble cos she's unlucky enough to get caught everytime her guy friend calls. -_-

And my mum keeps threatening that if she doesn't knock it off and limit herself, she's going to get my dad to call up said guy and tiu tiu tiu him so he backs off. (they've done it once to this stalker guy she had.haha)

I pity the poor guy if that ever happens to him. I remember how much haqi got scolded by my mum. But then again, the whole family feud thing probably played a huge part in that. haha.

Still, my sister is apparently waay less discreet than me.

I was actually inclined to give her tips on how to not get caught but a sadistic part of me wants to see her suffer a bit more. haha.

I suddenly thought of you on the bus home.

In a sick and twisted way, I kinda miss you.

But you're still an effing ass of course.

The first day back from wonderland

And as we all know, today is the first day back in school.

It's damn weird waking up and not just going to sleep at 5.30 in the morning.

As usual, I take 161 and the bus was late(by my standards), I think the new year screwed up the normal timings.

I have a feeling I'm going to have to start going out earlier cos all the J1's were practically flooding the bus just now.

They look so out of place with their secondary school uniform. haha.

I reached school around the same time I always do and sat at the same table, in front of the vending machine so that my dear classmates will not get lost trying to find our class.

I had to wait a while cos everyone was apparently later than usual due to first day back at school blues I guess.

Syafiq came next and sat down opposite me and I find myself really appreciating that routine moment because I know, later on, there might not be anymore routine 2007 moments like that.

The first period was CT time with ms Charles. :)

The very first thing I noticed when I sat down was how small the class is now that the new year has begun.

there's only 13 of us left and it was 10 just now cos the OGL's were not there.

I tried not to think of li and naz and syafiq much cos I know it'll just make me miss them more.

The irony is that I didn't even have to think of them cos small, little things will just automatically remind me that they're not there.

Like how nad had to switch the lights during MLL tutorial (which incidentally is super mendak cos the class was so freaking quiet.) cos Li's not there to do that anymore.

And how we can't not do the homework anymore as our main partner's in crime (in the case of always not doing work) have reverted to another life.

Gahh, I'm being sentimental. I think I'm listening to Battle's Icarus too much. -_-

And it seems that all the teachers have conspired with each other to freak us all out.

Almost everyone of them started off with a lecture on the importance of working hard, the competition to get into local universities etc.

Really. What a good way to bring me crashing back down to reality.

On a more high note, it was great seeing everyone again! :)

I enjoyed listening to vani and ying bitch, argue, threaten and bicker with each other, after two months not listening to them do that.

haha. It's good entertainment but class will be a nightmare when both of them start and can't shut up. -_-

Ended the day with a meeting with the "its" to consolidate the content that we have.

There were only 5 of us cos zul had the camp and the idiot vani ran off blatantly.

We sort of discussed what we had to do for a bit and spent the rest of the time talking randomly, gossiping and bitching. haha.

And next wednesday will be wen jia's birthday celebration after school. :)

she wanted to have it on monday cos her actual birthday is this friday but I have MLEP until 5.40 in the afternoon (bloody hell.) so changed to wednesday.

And it's confirmed that our weekly lunches will be on wednesday too.

:)

haha. I'm looking forward to it.

They're all starting to grow on me.

Super Junior :)

I was supposed to do lit today but I ended up watching

SuJu full house on youtube.

Haha.

I've only managed to watch the first 4 episodes cos I kept replaying the hilarious bits.

They're so cutely adorable and damn shit freaking ass funny!

I laughed my ass off watching them all, especially heechul.

damn joker sia. haha.

I still can't decide who I like best but I think all of them are pretty cute la.

kibum has a very nice smile. cute shits. :)

and I think donghae quite hot. haha.

Muchos credits to sue for recommending that I watch it. nyahaha.

I think I need to kill her though cos she made me addicted to watching their antics.

haha.

Still, it's good. Now, I have other things to destress with other than reading books.

:)

thanks sue!

I think the main reason why I'm interested or even bother in trying out kpop is cos I really wanted to try something new and step out of my comfort zone.

(it's one of my new year's resolution and I fulfilled it! :) haha)

and hey, I kinda like it.

:)

And I realise now that I'm pretty flexible.

I can listen to english, I can switch to jiwang, listen to indon and now apparently, I can listen to kpop.

HAHA.

That is so freaking weird coming from me.

Oh well.

gtg. wanna go watch more SuJu and laugh my ass off before I start stressing tmr.

:)

It's the birth of another year

And this will be the first post of the new year.

It's kinda surreal to me that yet another year has passed.

2007 went by in a flash. literally.

It's been one hell of an experience.

Much like this crazy roller coaster ride that was thril,ling, scary eye-opening and yet, truly enriching and fulfilling.

Sidenote: I guess I said more or less the same thing about 2006, just not as much as a high note as 2007.

I hope I grow up to be someone who can say that for every year that I live, cos I want to be someone who, at the end of it all, can look back and truly say "Hell, I've lived my life to the fullest I know how."

Incidentally, the sidenote is my long term resolution. More on resolutions later after I've recapped the year with as many words as I can.

2007 gave me a new begining (literally), a chance to start over with a more or less a clean slate.

I was extremely lucky early on in the year to have met/gotten to know better two angels that I will always hold dear simply cos they add colour to my life and provide me with strength when I'm in need;

Dilah cinta, thank you. Bani love, thank you too. and I miss you bad.

I will also always remember the day of the O level result release if for no reason at all, just to relive the feeling that I still triumphed and came out tops after shitty episodes in 2006. :)

At this point I have to thank the authority figures that helped; thank you mrs taufik. I owe you shitloads. and mrs yeo, for keeping me alive. kak ann, for listening. and, ayah & ibu, for always.

And how can I forget my first ever glimpse of 0734A, all the strangers that I've come to love and regard as my own brothers and sisters.

34A, we've pulled through thick and thin, weathered the most gruelling thunderstorms and been through hell and back together as one, cos that's just what we do.

I love each and every single one of you, thank you for making life in JC a hell lot easier. couldn't have done it with anyone else and if given a choice, I'd still pick all of you to go through it all again with.

Special shout out to those that's left/not going to be with us:

ain, for the short time that I knew you, you're a great girl. wish you all the best in manchester and god bless.

shaf, my one and only alien, we lost it for a bit no? but we'll get it back soon. :) I miss you tons girl. take care for me.

li and naz, my 2 pillars of support. thank you for everything. take care please and hey, you guys owe me study dates. don't forget! we need the motivation man. kfc sound good? heh. syg korg many2. :)

syafiq, damn I'll definately miss having you around. take care okay. and study hard please. syg kau too, chicklet. heh.

btw, mok ying ling if you sign and hand in the withdrawal form, I will personally haunt you down and kill you. :)

Lastly, 34A, you've given me more than I can ever wish for. Thank you all. <3

I'll also never forget the once in a lifetime experience of doing PW with my beloved ij107 groupmates.

We had frustrating times, disagreements and especially redoing the same shit and scrambling like mad rabbits to finish OP and WR but I'm glad I went through it with you guys.

I'll miss the usual thursday meetings for sure. nyahahaha -_-

And the lovely trips/camps that have made this year even more memorable;

1) the 2007 leadership camp with 0734A. It was hell fun and I enjoyed every single moment. We should go capsize with a dragon boat again, for the fun of it. haha. and Taurus rocks!

2) the MLEP camp at NACLI. I enjoyed hanging out with my TK girls (psstt.. we should go meet up for a date.) and also with my 34A babes. We learned more about each other's past and I definately appreciate each of you more after that.

3) the Pahang trip. thanks guys for making Pahang damn memorable. thanks for the support and encouragement and the fun and laughter. Radiate rocks! and mount kesong will always be remembered. :)

4) the MLEP KL trip. makasih to all. especially to my girls. we had plenty of ups and some downs on this trip but I greatly enjoyed myself. :) special mention also to ayah and ibu di kampung dorani. harap ayah dan ibu baik2 ajer. tunggu surat dari kami k! salam sayang dari anakmu di spura. :)

5) and lastly, LONDON baby!!! (credits wen jia! its a lovely phrase.haha) whee. thanks london babies, especially "its"! you guys really made me enjoy every single minute of the trip. other than the fact that I was already enjoying the fact that I'm actually in the UK la. I'm glad I shared it with all of you. it was daaammnn good! haha.

To all those I've met and gotten to know better this year, you guys know who you are,

thanks muchos for making a difference.

and thanks for the memories!!

damn this will be quite a long post. haha.

kk now time for resolutions!

1)learn to open up and trust people more

2) study harder and make it through A levels without dying in the process

3) find more destressers other than books, like rewatch weiss and furuba and reread absolute boyfriend. :) :) :)

4) try something new, like kpop. (psst, sue! haha)

5) treasure every single minute of 2008, even with all the crap moments too. :)

I hope that 2008 will be as enriching and fulfilling as 2007 and I hope that I will remember to enjoy the ride while it lasts, before I get taken on to the next year. :)

And to all, a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!